For over two years, from November 2011 thru mid-January 2014, I wrote a weekly column for a site called Domme Dose. Although it focused primarily on the “financial domination” sub-genre of femdom, the webmaster WR let me write about whatever aspects of femdom I was interested in. I took both a personal and scholarly approach, relating my experiences with D/s, dominatrixes, and also how I found connections to femdom in pop culture.
WR had initially approached me to write for Domme Dose when he saw one of my blog posts here entitled “Teases and Temptations of the Twitterdommes.” It was fun to write what I called “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” for WR and discuss my eternally ambivalent attitude toward femdom. It was also helpful as well as fun because it gave me a chance to promote on a weekly basis my femdom ebooks.
Although I never met WR in person, we would correspond via email a couple of times a week, usually after I sent him my column on Monday nights. We would usually just chat about our enthusiasm for various dommes, and WR would tease me that I had so many favorites. I did like a good number of them, but I also promoted others in whom I had a more casual interest simply because I figured it would also help bring more readers and traffic to his site.
I enjoyed emailing with WR especially about the old days in Times Square, and the wild live performances they used to have in places like Show World Center.
I found WR a courteous and friendly guy, who was very accepting of his own interests in femdom. I admired that self-acceptance in WR, because I myself have always felt like a “rebel subbie,” my term for the ambivalence I’ve always had toward femdom. When it comes to my desires to submit to women even in roleplay, I’m never free of a certain self-disdain…never ceasing to chide myself that I should be “normal” and not “kinky.” (Although as I’ve gotten older–and thankfully known people like WR, and some of the dommes I’ve encountered at the Dose and on Twitter–I have become more self-accepting.)
So writing “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” helped me in a therapeutic way, too.
I also admired that WR could do his site seven days a week, handling all the pictures and copy and personalities of the various contributors. As somebody who worked for almost thirty years as an adult magazine editor, I could understand what challenges that entailed.
WR would promote me on his homepage as a “famous” writer until one dominatrix complained and questioned my actual level of fame…
Now, I had never asked WR to say I was famous–I don’t consider myself such–so I told him why not change “famous” writer to “acclaimed” writer. Since I’ve been nominated four times for AVN awards for my X-rated screenplays, I figured it was safe to say that at least four times in my life my work had indeed been “acclaimed.” 😉
So WR did that for awhile, until he started calling me the “distinguished” writer…and we seemed to settle on that.
Then in mid-January, WR stopped posting on the Dose or Twitter. There was no word from him to anybody, no warning. For a guy as reliable as he was, this did not bode well to me and many others. People speculated on what could have happened, but nobody came up with an answer until a few weeks ago, when it was learned that WR had passed away the day after his postings ceased. (Although, as far as I know, details on what happened have still not emerged online. WR seems to have been a very private, discreet person in many ways.)
The Domme Dose itself came down just a couple of weeks ago, after remaining online for more than two months, reminding me of a shuttered saloon where the owners had left all the lights still on–because the Dose was like a corner bar in a way, where dommes and subs got together to discuss things at various levels of passion, reasonableness, discord, or humor.
I enjoyed reading my fellow columnists such as Moneyslave Matt and MzSydney; reading comments from gents like Frank, Hex’sFreakOnALeash, dickie virgin, Kyaa’sBard, and goodboy4kyaa; and keeping up with the thoughts and doings of so many dommes like Princess Rene, Miss Foxx, Capitalistic Blonde, Miss Annabel Grace, Goddess Jessica, Hex Kitten, Princess Karmaz, Mandy Flores, Princess Ellie Idol, Goddess Kyaa, Queen Kitty, Mistress T, Bella Daisy, Asian Goddess, Mistress Sarah Blake, Bratty Nikki, and many others.
Yes, I miss writing for and chatting on the Dose, and I miss WR’s emails and tweets. He was one of the best guys I’ve worked for. So long, amigo. R.I.P.