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Monthly Archives: April 2014

Farewell to the Domme Dose…

For over two years, from November 2011 thru mid-January 2014, I wrote a weekly column for a site called Domme Dose. Although it focused primarily on the “financial domination” sub-genre of femdom, the webmaster WR let me write about whatever aspects of femdom I was interested in. I took both a personal and scholarly approach, relating my experiences with D/s, dominatrixes, and also how I found connections to femdom in pop culture.

WR had initially approached me to write for Domme Dose when he saw one of my blog posts here entitled “Teases and Temptations of the Twitterdommes.” It was fun to write what I called “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” for WR and discuss my eternally ambivalent attitude toward femdom. It was also helpful as well as fun because it gave me a chance to promote on a weekly basis my femdom ebooks.

A lively fun site.

A lively fun site.

 

Although I never met WR in person, we would correspond via email a couple of times a week, usually after I sent him my column on Monday nights. We would usually just chat about our enthusiasm for various dommes, and WR would tease me that I had so many favorites. I did like a good number of them, but I also promoted others in whom I had a more casual interest simply because I figured it would also help bring more readers and traffic to his site.

I enjoyed emailing with WR especially about the old days in Times Square, and the wild live performances they used to have in places like Show World Center.

I found WR a courteous and friendly guy, who was very accepting of his own interests in femdom. I admired that self-acceptance in WR, because I myself have always felt like a “rebel subbie,” my term for the ambivalence I’ve always had toward femdom. When it comes to my desires to submit to women even in roleplay, I’m never free of a certain self-disdain…never ceasing to chide myself that I should be “normal” and not “kinky.” (Although as I’ve gotten older–and thankfully known people like WR, and some of the dommes I’ve encountered at the Dose and on Twitter–I have become more self-accepting.)

So writing “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” helped me in a therapeutic way, too.

I also admired that WR could do his site seven days a week, handling all the pictures and copy and personalities of the various contributors. As somebody who worked for almost thirty years as an adult magazine editor, I could understand what challenges that entailed.

WR would promote me on his homepage as a “famous” writer until one dominatrix complained and questioned my actual level of fame…

I got a kick out of posing for silly selfies for the column.

I got a kick out of posing for silly selfies for the column.

 

Now, I had never asked WR to say I was famous–I don’t consider myself such–so I told him why not change “famous” writer to “acclaimed” writer. Since I’ve been nominated four times for AVN awards for my X-rated screenplays, I figured it was safe to say that at least four times in my life my work had indeed been “acclaimed.” 😉

So WR did that for awhile, until he started calling me the “distinguished” writer…and we seemed to settle on that.

The selfie usually reflected the tone of that week's column.

The selfie usually reflected the tone of that week’s column.

 

Then in mid-January, WR stopped posting on the Dose or Twitter. There was no word from him to anybody, no warning. For a guy as reliable as he was, this did not bode well to me and many others. People speculated on what could have happened, but nobody came up with an answer until a few weeks ago, when it was learned that WR had passed away the day after his postings ceased. (Although, as far as I know, details on what happened have still not emerged online. WR seems to have been a very private, discreet person in many ways.)

The Domme Dose itself came down just a couple of weeks ago, after remaining online for more than two months, reminding me of a shuttered saloon where the owners had left all the lights still on–because the Dose was like a corner bar in a way, where dommes and subs got together to discuss things at various levels of passion, reasonableness, discord, or humor.

I enjoyed reading my fellow columnists such as Moneyslave Matt and MzSydney; reading comments from gents like Frank, Hex’sFreakOnALeash, dickie virgin, Kyaa’sBard, and goodboy4kyaa; and keeping up with the thoughts and doings of so many dommes like Princess Rene, Miss Foxx, Capitalistic Blonde, Miss Annabel Grace, Goddess Jessica, Hex Kitten, Princess Karmaz, Mandy Flores, Princess Ellie Idol, Goddess Kyaa, Queen Kitty, Mistress T, Bella Daisy, Asian Goddess, Mistress Sarah Blake, Bratty Nikki, and many others.

Yes, I miss writing for and chatting on the Dose, and I miss WR’s emails and tweets. He was one of the best guys I’ve worked for. So long, amigo. R.I.P.

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You can write erotica too!

In one of my previous posts, I showed you a picture of myself holding this vintage magazine, and I mentioned that aside from the fact that I loved the cover, its image sparked ideas in my mind about erotica writing. You can see the previous post here.

Find a story in this cover!

Find a story in this cover!

 

Although making decent freelance money from erotica and Kindle ebooks is very hard (as it has always been for most forms of writing for literally hundreds of years), I think that anybody who can write a basic sentence can explore erotica writing for their own pleasure, if not monetary profit. It’s always preferable that somebody knows how to write well, but one of the things I’ve learned over the years is that even if the prose style is weak and the grammar shaky, nonetheless if a person puts his or her heart and loins into a piece of horny prose, it can often successfully stimulate the reader. So whatever your level of skill with words…you can write erotica, too.

So gaze at this magazine cover. Click on it until it’s large on your screen (it’s best viewed on a computer for maximum impact), and immerse yourself in the lady’s face…her lips…her eyes…her gestures…her cleavage…and her fur-trimmed sweater. What do you hear her saying to you? What do you hear yourself saying? It’s a great picture because it lends itself to almost any kind of scenario–vanilla, kinky, or in-between.

The way to write anything, but especially fiction because it’s imaginary and takes place in your head, is to find a way “into” the story.  I frequently do it by imagining what I’m hearing a character saying…or by imagining what a character feels like, both physically and emotionally. Hmm, what would it be like to slip my hands into that open sweater to reach for the concealed nipples? And so the story begins! How did I meet this gal? What does she say to me? Or does she say anything? Does she let my wandering hands continue to wander, or does she get kinda nasty and say something like…? See, those are my “femdom” “femme fatale fantasies” coming into play! But what are YOUR fantasies? They will form the basis for your tale.

Enjoy this picture, let your mind “see” and “hear” what situations it suggests to you, and before you know it, you’ll have yourself a story!

 

 
 

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