Tag Archives: Notes of a Rebel Subbie

Farewell to the Domme Dose…

For over two years, from November 2011 thru mid-January 2014, I wrote a weekly column for a site called Domme Dose. Although it focused primarily on the “financial domination” sub-genre of femdom, the webmaster WR let me write about whatever aspects of femdom I was interested in. I took both a personal and scholarly approach, relating my experiences with D/s, dominatrixes, and also how I found connections to femdom in pop culture.

WR had initially approached me to write for Domme Dose when he saw one of my blog posts here entitled “Teases and Temptations of the Twitterdommes.” It was fun to write what I called “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” for WR and discuss my eternally ambivalent attitude toward femdom. It was also helpful as well as fun because it gave me a chance to promote on a weekly basis my femdom ebooks.

A lively fun site.

A lively fun site.


Although I never met WR in person, we would correspond via email a couple of times a week, usually after I sent him my column on Monday nights. We would usually just chat about our enthusiasm for various dommes, and WR would tease me that I had so many favorites. I did like a good number of them, but I also promoted others in whom I had a more casual interest simply because I figured it would also help bring more readers and traffic to his site.

I enjoyed emailing with WR especially about the old days in Times Square, and the wild live performances they used to have in places like Show World Center.

I found WR a courteous and friendly guy, who was very accepting of his own interests in femdom. I admired that self-acceptance in WR, because I myself have always felt like a “rebel subbie,” my term for the ambivalence I’ve always had toward femdom. When it comes to my desires to submit to women even in roleplay, I’m never free of a certain self-disdain…never ceasing to chide myself that I should be “normal” and not “kinky.” (Although as I’ve gotten older–and thankfully known people like WR, and some of the dommes I’ve encountered at the Dose and on Twitter–I have become more self-accepting.)

So writing “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” helped me in a therapeutic way, too.

I also admired that WR could do his site seven days a week, handling all the pictures and copy and personalities of the various contributors. As somebody who worked for almost thirty years as an adult magazine editor, I could understand what challenges that entailed.

WR would promote me on his homepage as a “famous” writer until one dominatrix complained and questioned my actual level of fame…

I got a kick out of posing for silly selfies for the column.

I got a kick out of posing for silly selfies for the column.


Now, I had never asked WR to say I was famous–I don’t consider myself such–so I told him why not change “famous” writer to “acclaimed” writer. Since I’ve been nominated four times for AVN awards for my X-rated screenplays, I figured it was safe to say that at least four times in my life my work had indeed been “acclaimed.” 😉

So WR did that for awhile, until he started calling me the “distinguished” writer…and we seemed to settle on that.

The selfie usually reflected the tone of that week's column.

The selfie usually reflected the tone of that week’s column.


Then in mid-January, WR stopped posting on the Dose or Twitter. There was no word from him to anybody, no warning. For a guy as reliable as he was, this did not bode well to me and many others. People speculated on what could have happened, but nobody came up with an answer until a few weeks ago, when it was learned that WR had passed away the day after his postings ceased. (Although, as far as I know, details on what happened have still not emerged online. WR seems to have been a very private, discreet person in many ways.)

The Domme Dose itself came down just a couple of weeks ago, after remaining online for more than two months, reminding me of a shuttered saloon where the owners had left all the lights still on–because the Dose was like a corner bar in a way, where dommes and subs got together to discuss things at various levels of passion, reasonableness, discord, or humor.

I enjoyed reading my fellow columnists such as Moneyslave Matt and MzSydney; reading comments from gents like Frank, Hex’sFreakOnALeash, dickie virgin, Kyaa’sBard, and goodboy4kyaa; and keeping up with the thoughts and doings of so many dommes like Princess Rene, Miss Foxx, Capitalistic Blonde, Miss Annabel Grace, Goddess Jessica, Hex Kitten, Princess Karmaz, Mandy Flores, Princess Ellie Idol, Goddess Kyaa, Queen Kitty, Mistress T, Bella Daisy, Asian Goddess, Mistress Sarah Blake, Bratty Nikki, and many others.

Yes, I miss writing for and chatting on the Dose, and I miss WR’s emails and tweets. He was one of the best guys I’ve worked for. So long, amigo. R.I.P.


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Porn scribe’s diary, 12/5/12: Let’s talk about CHERRIES…

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter! 😉 I’m talking about CHOCOLATE cherries.

I've been eating too many of these, I know...

I’ve been eating too many of these, I know…

Well, to be honest, my thoughts about candy cherries were located somewhere near the proverbial “gutter” too, that disreputable trough into which sexy notions are so frequently consigned in our often-puritanical society. Actually, I wrote a pretty good piece this week for my “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” column that was inspired by the chocolate cherries I was eating as I sat down at the laptop. Check it out at the femdom site Domme Dose! I discussed the various ways a dominatrix could have fun with chocolate cherries and a slave…

That green tie you see me wearing above? It actually has a pattern of nymphs and satyrs running around. I used it as a prop for one of my characters in my new ebook Learning to be Cruel Part 2, available on Amazon here. You should see what sexy Chinese dominatrix Miss Meirong uses it for…she calls it a “porn tie.”

She makes my hero do naughty things because it amuses her!

She makes my hero do naughty things because it amuses her!

Tuesday was kind of stressful, as I heard about some unhappy financial matters. I had a hard time concentrating on my writing for awhile, but I finally got down to focus with the aid of some raspberry crumb cake and coffee.

I do seem to eating a lot of sweets…not just cherries…

But since I’ve put cherries in your mind, here’s a nice shot of a girl about to devour them, which I found at a site called Weird Corner here.

Have I ever mentioned my lipstick fetish? Love girls in rich red gloss...

Have I ever mentioned my lipstick fetish? Love girls in rich red gloss…


Posted by on December 5, 2012 in, ebooks, Erotica, Kindle


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Will Krysten Ritter lock American men in chastity cages…?

…because she sure looks like she COULD!

So what’s the real meaning of this ad for the new American ABC-TV show Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt 23?

Let’s see…the mischievious, manipulative look…the scarlet temptress lipstick…the perfect and expensive manicure…the black clothes (with shoulder pads!–are we back in the 80s yet?)…the costly bracelet on her lazy wrist…

Yep, it doesn’t look to me like she is just offering her key to some lucky stud, but rather teasing some sexually submissive guy who’s addicted to giving her money in a financial domination relationship (he probably paid for the lipstick, manicure, clothes and bracelet), and who’s also agreed to let her put a chastity device on his penis, like a CB-6000S..and she’s holding the key! 

Sure, it’s SUPPOSED to look just like a sexy girl waving an apartment key, femme fatale style, but it sure looks a lot more like the images of dominatrixes who tease and tempt guys on the Web in video clips, telling them they’re going to put their slaves in penis cages to break their nasty self-abuse habits…and as a weekly columnist for the Domme Dose, where I write Notes of a Rebel Subbie, I think I’ve developed a certain radar for femdom content hiding in the sheep’s clothing of mainstream entertainment…

And let’s put it this way: an episode about Miss Ritter’s character putting some dude–maybe some CELEBRITY dude–into a chastity device would be hilarious!

In fact, I think an entire situation comedy about a sweet girl who’s rooming with a stern dominatrix who puts her slaves into chastity cages and drains them of money by getting them addicted to video clips and buying her expensive presents would be something worth watching indeed.

Meanwhile, let me see if I can hang this picture on my bathroom door. How kind of the free newspaper AM New York to use the ad for a wraparound on their edition yesterday!

The picture is carefully positioned four feet above the throne for ease of contemplation and analysis.

Why do I sometimes feel I’m living in a burlesque sketch?


P.S. I don’t work for anybody selling chastity devices, and merely included the link above for your interest, erudition, and entertainment.


Posted by on April 12, 2012 in Burlesque, Erotica, Femmes Fatale


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Porno overload! Brain must rest!

It’s hard to believe it’s been a week since my last entry, which was on my 60th birthday. But it’s true…time speeds up the older you get…

I’ve been feeling a little “porned out.” That’s a phrase some people in the adult business use when your mind just overloads on work…which of course involves looking at mountains of pictures of breasts and vaginas and butts and fetish things…and you start to feel kind of like James Stewart in Vertigo

Well, maybe it's not quite this bad...

I didn’t really take a break last week and did a lot of extra writing; for one thing, I wrote the first installment of my new column for the website Domme Dose, “Notes of a Rebel Subbie,” which can be found here. The site is for adults only, and is about what is called “financial domination” or “findom,” a fetish where men give women gifts and money for a kind of masochistic erotic satisfaction.

I also worked on a new story for a possible ebook that didn’t come out the way I liked, so I put it aside after writing a few thousand words that just didn’t jell.

This on top of the adult website newsletters I write, the sexual product columns I do, and the copy for nudie pictures. Sometimes you just reach a state of overload, as at any job…

So I took a break last night and watched a 1945 film noir called Danger Signal that was on Turner Classic Movies. Zachary Scott plays a murderer and con man who, on the run from his crimes, first convinces a lonely typist (Faye Emerson) that he’s in love with her, until he meets her younger sister (Mona Freeman) who has an inheritance–and then he dumps Faye for Mona.

Faye Emerson had a haunted, fragile quality in this film.

Scott was good as a lying manipulative ladies man who preys on naive females, but I especially liked Faye Emerson. She goes from happily in love into a downward spiral of murderous depression–an interesting twist–and she turns the tables psychologically on Scott in an exciting conclusion.

The movie wasn’t perfect, and ended a little too quickly and too simplistically, but it was definitely worth seeing…and I became intrigued with Faye Emerson, immediately looking her up online for more info and pix.

I found these cool shots of her at what I believe is a Brazilian site which colorizes black and white photos to startling effect. Click on the link and pay it a visit, it’s marvelous. (If it’s not a Brazilian site, just let me know, and I’ll adjust my description accordingly.)

She was married for a time to orchestra leader Skitch Henderson.

In Danger Signal, she looked very beautiful but had a sad quality that made her character complex and strangely appealing. As a viewer I wanted to understand why such a beautiful woman seemed to have such a melancholy view of herself, but it was never explained.

In middle age she grew fat, wrote unpublished memoirs, and died of stomach cancer.

I think the second picture captures the fragile quality in her beauty.

One thing that was also interesting to me about Danger Signal is that it seemed as if it could have influenced the plot for A Kiss Before Dying, the famous 1953 novel by Ira Levin, and the suspenseful 1956 movie made from it with Robert Wagner, Joanne Woodward, and Virginia Leith. Two examples: in Danger Signal, Zachary Scott comes up with a very clever way of getting a woman to unwittingly write her own suicide note, and in A Kiss Before Dying, the psychopathic con man played by Wagner in the movie does a very similar thing. Secondly, in A Kiss Before Dying as well as well as Danger Signal, the man becomes involved with two sisters, leading each of them on for his nefarious ends.

Ira Levin, who went on to write famous books like Rosemary’s Baby, was about 16 years old when Danger Signal was released; could he have seen it and did some of its plot elements sink into his subconscious for later transformation into his exciting novel? I’m not saying he copied Danger Signal, but like any artist, may have been inspired by works that came before him. In point of fact, A Kiss Before Dying is a superior story, at least as a film and novel. I haven’t read the novel on which Danger Signal was based…but interestingly, an autographed copy of it goes for $650 at the brick & mortar and online bookseller where I found the image below! It sounds as if it might be a riveting read. Maybe I’ll find a less expensive copy someday…

Phyllis Bottome sounds like another subject for online research--prolific author and expert on psychology.

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Posted by on November 3, 2011 in Erotica


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