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Monthly Archives: June 2013

The cruel clever twins still want to meet you…

This weekend I’m coming out with the 2nd edition of DOMINANT CHINESE TWINS ENSLAVE WHINY MAN. It’s the same exact story (so if you’ve already purchased it, don’t buy it again), but the 99¢ introductory sale with this cover is coming to a close.

I like this cover as a piece of zany art, but I want to try a different approach.

I like this cover as a piece of zany art, but I want to try a different approach.

Starting sometime tomorrow this will be the new cover, and the price of the story will be the usual $2.99 I charge for my Kindle ebooks.

DomTwins Cover#2

Had fun playing around with the typefaces…

Economic fact for potential ebook publishers: I have to sell six 99¢ books to make the same royalties if I sell one $2.99 book. The 99¢ price was not as much of an inducement to readers as I hoped it would be.

I also want to see if a simple minimal cover will be more evocative to potential readers…I describe the cruel twins quite precisely in the story, so the word pictures will bring them to life. Which cover do you prefer? I’m starting to think my wacky cover, combined with the low price, made the book look shabby instead of inviting. I did myself an injustice. It’s quite a good story, sexy and funny too, and I want it to find its audience.

Go to Amazon here to read the two excellent reviews I’ve gotten so far on this ebook!

I hope you’ll try it and leave your own review, too! Thanks.

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2013 in ebooks, Erotica, Kindle

 

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New York City Bike-Seat Sniffing Surge?

A friend of mine was watching one of the Citibike racks recently installed on the NYC streets for what I call the “Mike’s Bikes” program. Setting up these vehicles for the citizenry was one of Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s pet projects. Anyway, my pal saw a girl in very short shorts alight from her bike and replace it in the docking station, and as soon as she walked off, a guy came up and sniffed the seat which only moments before had been honored with the presence of her Daisy Duked derriere!

Hmm, I’d like to see the New York Post report further on this Citibikeseat sniffing phenomenon. How widespread is it?

I liked how the sun was caressing the seat... :)

I liked how the sun was caressing the seat… 🙂

Come to think of it, those bike seats kinda sorta call to mind the undulating form of a lovely lass laying on her tummy, don’t you think? Or maybe I’ve seen too many pictures by Lucien Clergue

Anyway, what other dirty thoughts have coursed through my porn writer’s mind lately? Well, when I went to a Duane Reade drugstore the other day, I got a glimpse of Katy Perry’s cleavage…

I can hear the crunch...

I can hear the crunch…

“Sweet” and “salty” are definitely terms that come to mind…but I’d rather not feel sinless around Katy! 😉

Meanwhile, on other fronts, the exclusive and intensive interview series I did with the Silent Porn Star about my smut writing & editing career is now complete, and you can read all about my time in the Trenches of Tumescence here. If you can, leave a comment on the Silent Porn Star site and let her know how you liked her work. I think she did a great job, but of course who can deny the uplifting infusion of ego satisfaction I experienced at being interviewed at such length, after spending so many years myself as the relatively invisible interviewer of hundreds of strippers, porn stars, as well as a few dommes, XXX film directors, a noir paperback publisher, a sword-and-sandal artist, and an international ping pong champion?

And, to once again complement the online publication of these pieces, here’s more writing from my early days in the erotica/porn/whatever-you-wanna-call-it trade. It’s the article I did for the December 1978 issue of HIGH SOCIETY (with 70s sex symbol Jackie Bisset on the cover), and it’s a profile of legendary pinup collector Art Amsie, a piece which I mention in the first section of the Silent Porn Star interview. Art, who passed away a few years ago, had an amazing collection of every pinup artist you can imagine, and his gallery was where I first learned about Bettie Page (whose name is “Betty” in the article, since she had still not resurfaced with the proper spelling) as well as great talents like Gil Elvgren, Alberto Vargas, and Peter Driben. It’s written under yet another of my writing names, “Irving Wexler.” Just click on the pictures to make them larger and readable. I hope you enjoy it.

Jackie Bisset was the object of many a horny conversation!

Jackie Bisset was the object of many a horny conversation!

KingPinup-Page1

KingPinup-Page2

KingPinup-Page3

KingPinup-Page4

See how my porn editor’s mind works? I tried to capture your attention with the kinky headline, only to hope you stayed for the serious stuff! 😉

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I got the cover scan of HIGH SOCIETY from the great vintage mag dealer Oldmags.com, and the article was in my clip file. I took the bike and Katy Perry pix myself. (I wish I could have taken a picture of Katy ON a bike! Ruff-ruff!!)

The name is...what the fuck IS my name??

The name is…what the fuck IS my name??

 

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The Forrest J Ackerman Effect…

Well, the third part of the Silent Porn Star interview about my life as a smut scribe has just been published here, and it’s stirred up even more memories seeing it online…

Now, the first magazine I edited, in 1982 after being its staff writer for almost a year, was GAME.

By 1983 I was much better at evocative coverlines than when I started editing in 1982.

By 1983 I was much better at evocative coverlines than when I started editing in 1982.

As an editor I had three influences, besides learning the basics of the job from my predecessor at GAME, a great lady who called herself “Doc Silver.” I had read A. Scott Berg’s biography Maxwell Perkins: Editor of Genius in 1979, and that formed my mental template of how an editor should compassionately and constructively deal with his writers or, in my case, writers and photographers and porn stars and nude models. Perkins was patient and dedicated to bringing out the best of the great talents he edited, people like Hemingway and Fitzgerald and Wolfe.

This was the cover of the paperback edition of this great book.

This was the cover of the paperback edition of this great book.

My second influence was John Willie, the fetish artist whose BIZARRE magazines from the 40s and 50s I came upon in Times Square porn shops in the early 70s.

This is one of the first of John Willie's Bizarre mags that I saw in Times Square in the 70s.

This is one of the first of John Willie’s Bizarre mags that I ever saw.

In their quirky individualism, these BIZARRE magazines were antecedents to what eventually would be called “zines,” and I was very much attracted to the idea of doing a periodical in that idiosyncratic way, openly expressing my obsessions (in my case, for femdom or butts or legs or pinup style beauty), just as John Willie did with his interests in BDSM in the pages of BIZARRE. I was able to express myself in a oft-quirky way sometimes when I became a porn editor, depending on the amount of editorial oversight the various publishers gave me.

My other influence as an editor was Forrest J Ackerman, who edited FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND, a magazine I read especially in my pre-adolescence in the early 60s and later too, which helped foster my love not just for horror films but movies in general.

Many parents of that era found covers like this rather disturbing! But kids loved them.

Many parents of that era found covers like this rather disturbing! But kids loved them.

Forrest J Ackerman in the Ackermansion in the mid-20th century

Forrest J Ackerman in the Ackermansion in the mid-20th century

Like Perkins, FJA (or 4SJ as he also liked to be known) had a great love and positive attitude toward the material he worked with (sci-fi, fantasy, and horror); a positive attitude toward his contributors (Ackerman was also an agent to many prominent sci-fi and fantasy authors); and an especially positive attitude toward the fans of his magazine, young and older. When I first edited FOR ADULTS ONLY magazine in 1983, I started the issues with a section of “what’s coming up next in porn movies” that I deliberately modeled in tone on Ackerman’s enthusiastic “coming next in horror” sections in FAMOUS MONSTERS.

Ackerman’s influence on creative people cannot be underestimated, whether he was mentoring them as writers or filmmakers, or giving them tours of his “Ackermansion” in Los Angeles, which was filled with an incredible collection of movie memorabilia.

What I personally got from Ackerman about the art of editing, just by reading his magazines from the time I was about eleven and absorbing subconsciously, was the need for strong pictures; powerful covers; catchy headlines and blurbs; and most of all, the use of humor in material where it might seem a little incongruous. Ackerman mixed puns and jokes with his descriptions of horror films, a blend which worked in his hands. I similarly found when editing sex magazines that the careful and judicious use of humor provided an additional release for the readers, even though some people believed that erotica and humor do not go together.

A terrific new documentary entitled The Ackermonster Chronicles, available here at JaSunni Productions, takes you into the life of this extraordinary man, from his beginnings as a science-fiction fan in the 1920s to his magazine editing in the 50s and 60s and beyond, to his mentoring of many talents like the film director Joe “Gremlins” Dante or John “American Werewolf in London” Landis.

Uncle Forry's colorful life from 1916-2008!

Uncle Forry’s colorful life from 1916-2008!

The documentary also discusses Ackerman’s interest in erotica, which I knew little about before. I had read previously elsewhere that he was a fan of burlesque and striptease, especially in the 50s, but not that he also had a collection of erotica and that he contributed fiction to the first lesbian zine ever. The movie tells the wild story of how Forry got in trouble with the postal authorities for having a mail correspondence with a male married janitor who pretended he was a lesbian! So the flick is interesting not just as a piece of cinematic and editorial history, but also as sex history. Producer and director Jason V Brock is to be commended for a fascinating piece of work.

Ackerman was great friends with Ray Bradbury and Ray Harryhausen too.

Ackerman was great friends with Ray Bradbury and Ray Harryhausen.

I got to meet Forrest J Ackerman in person once myself, around 2000, when I attended a fan convention in Virginia. I brought along a copy of Phantom X to give to him, the porn version of The Phantom of the Opera, which I’d written for director Paul Thomas in 1989, knowing that the 1925 Lon Chaney version of the story was one of Forry’s favorite films. At the time I felt a little embarrassed to give this eightysomething gent a porn tape, not knowing that he was an “honorary lesbian” and fan of erotica himself! His image as “Uncle Forry,” editor of FAMOUS MONSTERS, creator of VAMPIRELLA, and avuncular icon to his fans, many of whom were kids, never seemed to intersect with porn–but as the documentary makes clear, erotica played a part in Ackerman’s life, and pinups even helped Forry get through World War 2 in a funny and unique way: he used girlie photos given to him by a friend in order to give his fellow recruits the impression that he was a ladies’ man, instead of the anxious virgin he actually was when he went off to war! But check out the DVD for the full details of this anecdote, and many more. Forry’s kindness and encouragement to many people are recalled in the great array of interviews in this fine film.

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I found the scan of the GAME cover at OldMags.com; the scan of the Max Perkins book here; the scan of Bizarre here; the scan of FAMOUS MONSTERS here; and the picture of Forrest J Ackerman here.

 

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A porn writer’s mind-set, circa 1982…

It has been raining non-stop here in NYC today. The rain ceaselessly beats down upon the windows, those damn drops dancing. I have a bit of cabin fever even though I went out three times during the day…

Tonight as I ate my sweet and sour pork combination platter from the Chinese restaurant, I watched Nightmare Castle, a 1965 Italian gothic horror movie perfectly suited to a rainy night. It stars Barbara Steele in a dual role as a caustic adulteress and her more innocent sister. I find Barbara fascinating to watch, although I do not find her sexually attractive. Ironically, her extraordinarily expressive face is too irregular for my conservative tastes! Alluring instead is Helga Liné, whose conventionally proportioned face appeals to me more; she portrays the housekeeper in the evil castle where Barbara lives. (I wrote a long post about Helga elsewhere on this blog here.)

Nightmare Castle

What a lovingly lurid poster!

Nobody could play a scheming Victorian adulteress with such venomous relish as Barbara Steele!

Nobody could play a scheming Victorian adulteress with such venomous relish as Barbara Steele!

I think Helga has one of those perfectly symmetrical "pinup" type faces that I love.

I think Helga has one of those perfectly symmetrical “pinup” type faces that I love.

It was a long and busy week. Besides writing newsletters and website copy for DDFNetwork, a European adult entertainment company, I am also doing a Twitter feed for one of their sites, HotLegsAndFeet, for which I’ve written newsletters and web copy for three years. Check out this Twitter feed @DDFLegFetish, because besides tweeting links to very erotic prevues of their videos, I also provide links to interesting articles, humor, and pictures I find on the Web. I tweet about thirty times a day and I try to provide plenty of entertainment for the followers, the numbers of which are, happily, growing daily.

Here is one of our newest models, the leggy and busty British bombshell who can be found on Twitter @AvaKoxxx. 

AvaKoxxx-Busty

Fans are already clamoring to see Ava bring their sinematic fantasies to life…fans including me! 😉

If you are puzzled by the X-rays behind Ava, that is because this particular scene took place in one of the offices of the ever-lascivious “DDF Genital Hospital” (at least, that’s the location I give to the scenes when I write them up for the websites).

Besides my daily work, which comes to several thousand words a week polished to a perverted shine in my perhaps not inimitable but certainly pleasingly accomplished style, there was an interesting development this week, namely the online publication of the second part of the Silent Porn Star interview with yours truly about my career as a smut scribe. You can find that here, with a link to the first part here as well. This time, among the various things we cover, I discuss how many women in the 70s and 80s, influenced by the aggressive anti-porn feminism of the era, didn’t exactly think smut writing was the most upstanding career for a man.

To complement that interview, I dug up this article from the October 1982 issue of GAME, which was the first porn title I edited starting in the fall of 1982. I wrote the piece under one of my other noms de porn, Lester Bloom, a name and character about whom I’ve also written a novel (The Punk Stud and His Women) and even a whole porn film (True Blue)–although the producers, as sometimes happens in XXX, left my name off the credits even though the main character sports one of my favorite pseudonyms!!

Anyway, the article shows how thirty years ago I was in the process of convincing myself, as I got more and more entrenched as a porn professional, that writing about sex could have the same emotional and cultural resonance as writing about boxing or other more mainstream topics, like stuff by famed journalist A.J. Liebling:

Click on the pic and you make it larger to read.

Click on the pic and you can make it larger to read.

To illustrate this piece, I used a movie still of Robert De Niro as Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull from a couple of years earlier; and then, to visually complement the point of my article, I dug up an 8×10 nudie still from the magazine’s files of a model whose facial expression suggested De Niro with a sex change! I have no idea who that model was. Since the great Bobby was renown at that time for greatly altering his bodily appearance to play the older LaMotta, I thought it was funny to imagine him getting implants to play a sleazy chick, which is what the opposite picture called to my twisted mind!!

This is the cover of that issue of GAME. Note: “Norbert Klinger,” noted in the rather tame coverlines (I was still learning) as the author of that issue’s fiction, was yet another one of my identities…I wasn’t “Grandma Bitch,” however.

The issue, which I found at a flea market, was a little banged up, but otherwise well-preserved!

The issue, which I found at a flea market, was a little banged up, but otherwise well-preserved!

As I’m writing this post I’m remembering how much fun it was to put those first magazines together, working sometimes until midnight in the office on East 43rd Street near Grand Central Terminal…then handing the stuff to the art director in the morning to lay out. Come to think of it, I may have found the picture of the girl first, giving me the visual basis for the article–and then maybe I dug up the pic of De Niro and dreamed up the actual topic for the piece!

Working for GAME was especially fun because I was pretty much on my own, doing what I wished with the mag–almost like doing a blog today, come to think of it!

I hope you enjoy both the Silent Porn Star interview’s peek at the Jurassic age of jizz journalism, and this sportswriters-and-sexwriters article which gives you a peek at my frame of mind as a porn scribe way back in 1982.

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If you want to see Nightmare Castle for yourself, the entire movie is up on YouTube and easily located. And I found the great screenshot of Barbara seemingly gloating over her cuckolding skills here.

 

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