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The Lady Godiva of the New York Post

Gotta love the New York Post. I was tucking into a hardworking freelance porn writer’s humble lunch of American cheese sandwich and jalapeno potato chips when I turned to page 3 of the 7/7/16 edition, only to see this photo by Mona Kuhn for the August 2016 issue of Harper’s Bazaar:

LadyGodiva&Cheese

I guess you might say I was having the “Lady Godiva and Cheese” special! But I also stopped in mid-bite, as I knew I had to record this gustatory and aesthetic moment with my point-and-shoot camera. It says in the caption that the lovely centaurix is Emily Ratajkowski, one of those names I’ve heard of but whose accomplishments I am unfamiliar with, as she no doubt is unfamiliar with mine. In any case, she makes a fetching Lady Godiva-like figure, and reminded me that I have an old poster of the 1955 Maureen O’Hara movie Lady Godiva that I should try to sell for a few bucks one of these days at the flea market.

Lady-Godiva-of-Coventry-1955-Universal-International

I think it’s no coincidence that the article next to the picture is entitled “Scorcher Torture,” referring to the NYC heat wave we’re experiencing, but of course I also took it as a not so subliminal reference to Emily, the brunette goddess who on her steed so blithely gave so many of us blueballs today. Pretty feet has Miss Emily, too, for those of us attuned to such details!

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2016 in Erotica, history of erotica

 

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When women rule, will the world be cool?

Let’s take a peek into the future to find out…and I mean the FAR future…like, the 24th century future!

It’s the subject of my newest ebook on Amazon…

A time traveler finds himself in a world where women call the shots...

A time traveler finds himself in a world where women call the shots…

A rather self-absorbed horny scientist invents a time machine—yes, an actual time machine—but expressly for the purpose of having sex with women of different eras! How fucking self-absorbed can you get? Yet Raymond “Race” Ackerman is a kind of likable guy, with a good sense of humor. When he lands in 2399, he discovers that men are the puppets of the Overclass Women who rule society. Whoops! His pathway to easy pussy is over as he is informed that he will have pleasure only by handjobs performed on him at the whims of the dominatrices who gather in The Groves of Goddesses—a place formerly known as New York’s Central Park!

It’s a fast-moving, fun story that I really enjoyed writing. You can find it at Amazon U.S. here  with all my other ebooks, and of course in the online Amazon stores worldwide.

Best of all from a professional writer’s point of view, I finally made the Amazon bestseller list with this new book; 2 Amazon bestseller lists, in fact—first, the Kindle Science-Fiction erotica list in the U.S.:

SciFiBestsellerHeader

 

SciFiFemdomBestseller

—and the Amazon erotica bestseller list in Japan! A special thrill because I am a big fan of Japanese erotica, femdom and otherwise, and have always wanted readers to enjoy my own work there.

JapaneseBestsellerScreencap

Time travel has long been one of my fantasy interests, and I even did a blog devoted to it several years ago called The Horny Time Traveler which you can find here. Check it out, and I hope you’ll read and enjoy FEMDOM NEW YORK 2399 A.D. too. Let me know what you think with a comment here, or on Twitter @irvoneil, or with a brief review on Amazon or Goodreads!


 

The cover photo, which I got at the stock photography house 123RF.com, was shot by nejron, whose portfolio you can see here.

 
 

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Can femdom be funny?

Can femdom be funny as well as incredibly arousing? Yes, of course it can. Some of the situations slaves and dommes get into border on comic absurdity as well as the kinky and bizarre. Spend a few hours online browsing mistresses and their admirers at Twitter and you’ll see what I mean.

My most recent femdom story, OBEY YOUR TUTOR, available on Amazon here along with my other ebooks, has some very humorous dialogue as a dominant young college tutor tries to manipulate her student into completely altering the course of his academic life by following her from school in Ohio to becoming her sissy prostitute in New York. Will he take the bait? The temptation is very strong. It was fun not only writing the hot scene of outdoor jerk-off instruction and cum-eating supervision, but —because I don’t always know in advance what my characters will do or say—it was intriguing to see what would happen afterward as tutor Mary Beth tries to fiddle with student Noah’s mind.

Will she succeed? I hope you’ll read OBEY YOUR TUTOR to find out.

By the restful pond, her admirer knelt naked and ready to follow her orders!

By the restful pond, her admirer knelt naked and ready to follow her orders!



The cover photo, which I got at the stock photography house 123RF.com, was shot by zigf, whose portfolio you can see here.

 
 

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Jessica Simpson and other giantesses of Times Square!

I love taking pictures of girls on giant billboards. Here are a couple of recent ones.

The giantesses loom above us in midtown Manhattan! These are the modern pinups, forty feet high.

Click on the pix to see them even larger.

JessicaAnd ButtBabes4Blog

 

 

SoloButt Girl4Blog

 
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Posted by on April 6, 2016 in Erotica, New York City, Times Square

 

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Boom Boom Valdez and other catchy names…

Someone on Twitter last night said that they liked a phrase in one of my tweets and wanted to use it as the name of their band. The phrase was “futile lechery,” which I used to describe the hilarious attempts of horny John Astin to score a date with lovely Doris Day in the 60s comedy A Touch of Mink. I gotta admit, I’m proud of that little combo of words.

DorisDay-JohnAstin

Actually, however, it’s not the first time my words have inspired (or will inspire) a band’s name. In 1988 I wrote (and titled) a porn movie called BOOM BOOM VALDEZ.

I wrote several movies directed by Henri Pachard.

I wrote several movies directed by Henri Pachard.

I had briefly met the sexy young star Keisha at the XRCO Awards in L.A., and I was knocked out by her beauty and friendly personality. Then another time (I can’t recall if it was on the same trip) I ran into her at a party at the home of a magazine photographer, and I told Keisha I’d love to write a movie for her sometime. I mentioned this to director Ron Sullivan aka Henri Pachard, who was also there. He told me to come up with a storyline (he had just directed my first two screenplays, ADULTERY and ON THE LOOSE) and I promptly did when I got back to New York. BOOM BOOM VALDEZ is the story of topless dancer Boom Boom (Keisha) and her relationships with her sister, mother, co-workers at the club, and a writer who has a bit of a crush on her. (Nothing autobiographical about it!)😉

The picture got made and is still out there on disc, old VHS cassettes, online, and even got a very nice IMDb review last year which you can read here. But as luck and occasional porn production ineptitude would have it (and at the time I was extremely annoyed), the producers forgot to include my name in the credits…!

My reaction to this was, and I quote exactly:  $%!!#??#&**##%!!!

I wrote all my movies under my real name Neil Wexler, rather than Irv O. Neil. Many of the scripts had a lot of personal elements, even more in the case of BOOM BOOM VALDEZ which is why the missing credit so irked me. But to whom was I going to protest, the non-existent Porn Screenwriters Guild?

Notice how the disc box has a much more peppy photo of Keisha? She looks so serious on the VHS cover!

Notice how the disc box has a much more peppy photo of Keisha? She looks so serious on the VHS cover above!

Nonetheless, in sneaky fashion, always anticipating this kind of snafu, I’d left certain clues within the script itself as to its writerly parentage. For one, there is a character named “Victor Bloom”—Bloom being a name that has popped up in my work since 1975, either as characters or pseudonyms (I wrote as “Lester Bloom” for many years). Secondly, the characters of the writer played by Joey Silvera and the burlesque fan played by Richard Pacheco are very recognizably drawn on my own personality and interests. The writer, in fact, is a precursor to the character of Vic Vanner in my suspense novel FATE OF A STRIPPER, about a middle-aged writer/editor in love with a dancer.

You might say that in my imagination, Boom-Boom Valdez dances on the same club stage as Valerie Vickers of this novel.

Anyway, it was a kick when I heard, years later, that there was a European band called Boom Boom Valdez—so I look forward to hearing more about Futile Lechery!

 

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2016 in Burlesque, Erotica, history of erotica

 

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A lovely ancient Playboy magazine…

The magazine Playboy was a big influence on my wanting to become a writer. Just like in the cliché, “I read it for the articles,” after I got done looking at the pictures I did indeed read the articles. Mostly the fiction, but the interviews too. The many finely wrought short stories that Playboy published inspired me to learn the craft of fiction, and the interviews taught me how to talk to people to get their stories, a skill that came in handy when I interviewed about a thousand porn stars and strippers from the 1980s through the mid-2000s for mags like Black Tail and Leg Show.

I went to the flea market in Chelsea today on my unending search for inspiration in print, and I found a lovely Playboy from January 1956.

Look at the clever cover collage of the bunny-eared photog looking in his camera viewfinder!

Look at the clever cover collage of the bunny-eared photog looking in his camera viewfinder!

 

This slender (72 pages including covers) but jam-packed issue has, among its charms, a recap of the first two dozen Playmates (including Marguerite Empey aka Diane Webber, Jayne Mansfield, and Diane Hunter (whom I interviewed decades later for Pat Reshen’s Over 40 magazine); cartoons by the legendary and tragic Jack Cole, creator of the comic book character Plastic Man and a frequent Playboy contributor, as well as fiction by Robert Bloch, Erskine Caldwell, and Herbert Gold. Probably the one name that most resonates with contemporary readers is that of Bloch, who of course was one of the great masters of horror fiction and created the original novel on which Hitchcock’s Psycho was based. And Caldwell was one of the biggest selling writers of all time with the paperback editions of his rural tales of lust and human folly.

I never cease admiring these beautiful vintage paperback covers!

I never cease admiring these beautiful vintage paperback covers!

 

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Femdom stories written, and noir books read!

Hello again. It’s been awhile since my last post. Much of my energy and time is taken up looking for new freelance clients in a strange new landscape of commercial erotica. In the last couple of months, almost all the sex magazines I worked for have stopped publishing, driven out of existence basically by Internet competition; several of my editorial contacts have lost their jobs; and almost everything in porn is now online, where writers are often asked to create copy for low wages that make fast food worker salaries seem princely in comparison. It is, quite frankly, a sad, difficult time for somebody like myself, who made a decent living for decades writing sexy stories, doing porn star and stripper and dominatrix interviews, assembling and supervising national newsstand magazines, directing and commissioning pictorials and cover shoots, and editing hundreds of thousands of photographs into layouts that I feel were some of the best in the business.

Nonetheless I persevere. No choice but to keep going: “CRANK TILL YOU CROAK!” has always been my motto. In my irreverent moods, I like to call writing “cranking” sometimes, so I don’t start feeling or sounding self-serious about it. Well, there are websites and publishing companies out there run by people who appreciate my work, and we gradually find each other.

In the meantime, even as I look for new clients, I continue with my erotica writing and self-publishing. Just in the last two months I have released three new ebooks:

A tale of humiliation and financial domination as Sorceress Selikka takes control...

A tale of humiliation and financial domination as Sorceress Selikka takes control…

 

A lighthearted very short story about a guy who likes girls to get aggressive with snowballs!

A lighthearted very short story about a guy who likes girls to get aggressive with snowballs!

 

A dominant "hot wife" gives her slave hubby the kind of treatment he sometimes resists, but always craves...

A dominant “hot wife” gives her slave hubby the kind of treatment he sometimes resists, but always craves…

 

All these new ebooks are available on Amazon US here, and at the Amazon stores worldwide.

One of the things which keeps me going in times of stress is reading. I love to read. I love movies a lot too, but reading is the best. Just for fun, let me share some of the books I’ve enjoyed in recent months.

These 1950s noir novels explore seamy passions and dark desires of greed & twisted love.

These 1950s noir novels explore seamy passions and dark desires of greed & twisted love.

 

These "domestic strife novels" from 50s and 60s deal not with crimes as much as messed-up relationships.

These “domestic strife novels” from 50s and 60s deal not with crimes as much as messed-up relationships.

 

These disturbing "dystopian novels" depict America under totalitarian rule.

These disturbing “dystopian novels” depict America under totalitarian rule.

 

It was fascinating to read two sides of much of the same story: father and son autobiographies.

It was fascinating to read two sides of much of the same story: father and son autobiographies.

 

True crime is both compelling & sad to read, but you learn much about human nature.

True crime is both compelling & sad to read, but you learn much about human nature.

 

I was lead to Condon's bizarre Prohibition conspiracy novel when I read America Noir.

I was lead to Condon’s bizarre Prohibition conspiracy novel by reading the scholarly America Noir.

 

Noir is my fave genre, and Paperback Confidential tells us about essential noir novels like Black Wings Has My Angel.

Noir is my very favorite genre, and Paperback Confidential tells us about essential noir novels like Black Wings Has My Angel.

 

I enjoy moving from so called so-called "paperback" or "pulp fiction" novels like John D. MacDonald's to "literary" novels like those of Richard Yates.

I enjoy moving from so-called “paperback” or “pulp fiction” novels like John D. MacDonald’s to “literary” novels like those of Richard Yates.

 

Michael Avallone and Frank Kane provided great entertainment in their various paperback novels.

Michael Avallone and Frank Kane provided great entertainment in their various paperback books.

 

These are two books of very fine short stories that show how "noir" or "literary" are just labels--in the end, good tales should just be labeled GOOD!

These are two books of very fine short stories that show how “noir” or “literary” are just labels–in the end, good tales should just be labeled GOOD!

 

One thing that’s nice about reading is that it’s both my pleasure and a way of improving my skills. I read somewhat slowly, and carefully, as I hope to absorb mostly by osmosis the techniques that will help me write the best possible fiction myself. We never stop learning how to write!

 

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Just want you to take note of the terrific photographers whose work adorns the covers of my new ebooks. I find these images at 123RFStock Photography here.

SHE MADE HIM PAY, cover by subbotina, find the photographer’s portfolio here.

SUBMIT IN THE SNOW! cover by maridav, portfolio here.

HER FEISTY CUCKOLD, cover by ssuaphoto, portfolio here.

And of course, without the hard-working memorable models, there wouldn’t be covers at all! My appreciation to them all.

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2016 in Erotica

 

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