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Pasta and erotica in Hell’s Kitchen…

Like many writers, I spend probably way too much time sitting on my butt. The heat wave we recently had here in NYC only encouraged that, keeping me indoors more than usual. But tonight was lovely outside so I made sure I took a walk after I finished my day’s cranking, and when I saw a Ninth Avenue coffee shop had an open window seat, I thought I’d treat myself to a pasta dinner instead of my usual Chinese combo takeout eaten in front of the tv at home.

The street scene was noisy and lively while I ate my salad and angelhair primavera, but I didn’t mind the clamor at all. Sometimes the very racket that makes me apoplectic when I’m alone sitting in front of my computer trying to write is soothing when I’m out amongst the human race again.

After my entree, I got some coffee and made some notes for tomorrow’s story writing for an erotica website…

I tear a piece of typing paper into four strips & sketch out a week of storylines on each strip.

I tear a piece of typing paper into four strips & sketch out a week of storylines on each strip.

 

When I looked up from my scribbling, the evening light on Ninth Avenue was pleasant…

StreetScene AtDinner

But I got to thinking about the movie I saw last night on TCM, Turner Classic Movies: THE DARK CORNER, a 1946 film noir that not only took place in midtown Manhattan and Times Square, but had its gumshoe hero live at the corner of 52nd and Tenth Avenue, right in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen when it really WAS Hell’s Kitchen!

Although I believe it was shot on the 20th Century Fox lot, this film brilliantly evokes NYC, especially its sounds.

Although I believe it was shot on the 20th Century Fox lot, this film brilliantly evokes NYC, especially its sounds.

 

So I thought to myself, why don’t I take a walk over there to see what building he was supposed to have lived in!

After I finished my coffee, I strolled west. Lo and behold, the corner where Bradford Galt, Private Investigator, was said to have resided in 1946 looked pleasingly ungentrified in 2016, and the building seemed quite like one where the brooding Mr. Galt (well-played by Mark Stevens) could have tangled with a murderous William Bendix in the film’s most exciting scene. (I highly recommend this movie.)

Most everything around it is gentrified now, but this building could well have been the digs for a noir shamus!

Most everything around it is gentrified now, but this building could well have been the digs for a noir shamus!

 

True, Hell’s Kitchen—a moniker once a notorious symbol of the area’s gangs and violence—is now mostly used as a colorful name and real estate selling point for the neighborhood—more juicy sounding than what it’s also called, Clinton (after DeWitt, I presume, and not Hillary or Bill). But when you’re aware of the history of the area, it never feels fully gentrified…and of course, when you personally have a noirish point of view when it comes to life in general, the spirit of Hell’s Kitchen lives on wherever you are!

With the right lighting in my apartment, and my fave fedora, I could be waiting for a femme fatale to show up!

With the right lighting in my apartment, and my fave fedora, I look like I’m waiting for a femme fatale to show up. Come to think of it, judging by the femdom erotica I write, I probably am!

 

 

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The Lady Godiva of the New York Post

Gotta love the New York Post. I was tucking into a hardworking freelance porn writer’s humble lunch of American cheese sandwich and jalapeno potato chips when I turned to page 3 of the 7/7/16 edition, only to see this photo by Mona Kuhn for the August 2016 issue of Harper’s Bazaar:

LadyGodiva&Cheese

I guess you might say I was having the “Lady Godiva and Cheese” special! But I also stopped in mid-bite, as I knew I had to record this gustatory and aesthetic moment with my point-and-shoot camera. It says in the caption that the lovely centaurix is Emily Ratajkowski, one of those names I’ve heard of but whose accomplishments I am unfamiliar with, as she no doubt is unfamiliar with mine. In any case, she makes a fetching Lady Godiva-like figure, and reminded me that I have an old poster of the 1955 Maureen O’Hara movie Lady Godiva that I should try to sell for a few bucks one of these days at the flea market.

Lady-Godiva-of-Coventry-1955-Universal-International

I think it’s no coincidence that the article next to the picture is entitled “Scorcher Torture,” referring to the NYC heat wave we’re experiencing, but of course I also took it as a not so subliminal reference to Emily, the brunette goddess who on her steed so blithely gave so many of us blueballs today. Pretty feet has Miss Emily, too, for those of us attuned to such details!

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2016 in Erotica, history of erotica

 

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When women rule, will the world be cool?

Let’s take a peek into the future to find out…and I mean the FAR future…like, the 24th century future!

It’s the subject of my newest ebook on Amazon…

A time traveler finds himself in a world where women call the shots...

A time traveler finds himself in a world where women call the shots…

A rather self-absorbed horny scientist invents a time machine—yes, an actual time machine—but expressly for the purpose of having sex with women of different eras! How fucking self-absorbed can you get? Yet Raymond “Race” Ackerman is a kind of likable guy, with a good sense of humor. When he lands in 2399, he discovers that men are the puppets of the Overclass Women who rule society. Whoops! His pathway to easy pussy is over as he is informed that he will have pleasure only by handjobs performed on him at the whims of the dominatrices who gather in The Groves of Goddesses—a place formerly known as New York’s Central Park!

It’s a fast-moving, fun story that I really enjoyed writing. You can find it at Amazon U.S. here  with all my other ebooks, and of course in the online Amazon stores worldwide.

Best of all from a professional writer’s point of view, I finally made the Amazon bestseller list with this new book; 2 Amazon bestseller lists, in fact—first, the Kindle Science-Fiction erotica list in the U.S.:

SciFiBestsellerHeader

 

SciFiFemdomBestseller

—and the Amazon erotica bestseller list in Japan! A special thrill because I am a big fan of Japanese erotica, femdom and otherwise, and have always wanted readers to enjoy my own work there.

JapaneseBestsellerScreencap

Time travel has long been one of my fantasy interests, and I even did a blog devoted to it several years ago called The Horny Time Traveler which you can find here. Check it out, and I hope you’ll read and enjoy FEMDOM NEW YORK 2399 A.D. too. Let me know what you think with a comment here, or on Twitter @irvoneil, or with a brief review on Amazon or Goodreads!


 

The cover photo, which I got at the stock photography house 123RF.com, was shot by nejron, whose portfolio you can see here.

 
 

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Can femdom be funny?

Can femdom be funny as well as incredibly arousing? Yes, of course it can. Some of the situations slaves and dommes get into border on comic absurdity as well as the kinky and bizarre. Spend a few hours online browsing mistresses and their admirers at Twitter and you’ll see what I mean.

My most recent femdom story, OBEY YOUR TUTOR, available on Amazon here along with my other ebooks, has some very humorous dialogue as a dominant young college tutor tries to manipulate her student into completely altering the course of his academic life by following her from school in Ohio to becoming her sissy prostitute in New York. Will he take the bait? The temptation is very strong. It was fun not only writing the hot scene of outdoor jerk-off instruction and cum-eating supervision, but —because I don’t always know in advance what my characters will do or say—it was intriguing to see what would happen afterward as tutor Mary Beth tries to fiddle with student Noah’s mind.

Will she succeed? I hope you’ll read OBEY YOUR TUTOR to find out.

By the restful pond, her admirer knelt naked and ready to follow her orders!

By the restful pond, her admirer knelt naked and ready to follow her orders!



The cover photo, which I got at the stock photography house 123RF.com, was shot by zigf, whose portfolio you can see here.

 
 

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Jessica Simpson and other giantesses of Times Square!

I love taking pictures of girls on giant billboards. Here are a couple of recent ones.

The giantesses loom above us in midtown Manhattan! These are the modern pinups, forty feet high.

Click on the pix to see them even larger.

JessicaAnd ButtBabes4Blog

 

 

SoloButt Girl4Blog

 
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Posted by on April 6, 2016 in Erotica, New York City, Times Square

 

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Boom Boom Valdez and other catchy names…

Someone on Twitter last night said that they liked a phrase in one of my tweets and wanted to use it as the name of their band. The phrase was “futile lechery,” which I used to describe the hilarious attempts of horny John Astin to score a date with lovely Doris Day in the 60s comedy A Touch of Mink. I gotta admit, I’m proud of that little combo of words.

DorisDay-JohnAstin

Actually, however, it’s not the first time my words have inspired (or will inspire) a band’s name. In 1988 I wrote (and titled) a porn movie called BOOM BOOM VALDEZ.

I wrote several movies directed by Henri Pachard.

I wrote several movies directed by Henri Pachard.

I had briefly met the sexy young star Keisha at the XRCO Awards in L.A., and I was knocked out by her beauty and friendly personality. Then another time (I can’t recall if it was on the same trip) I ran into her at a party at the home of a magazine photographer, and I told Keisha I’d love to write a movie for her sometime. I mentioned this to director Ron Sullivan aka Henri Pachard, who was also there. He told me to come up with a storyline (he had just directed my first two screenplays, ADULTERY and ON THE LOOSE) and I promptly did when I got back to New York. BOOM BOOM VALDEZ is the story of topless dancer Boom Boom (Keisha) and her relationships with her sister, mother, co-workers at the club, and a writer who has a bit of a crush on her. (Nothing autobiographical about it!)😉

The picture got made and is still out there on disc, old VHS cassettes, online, and even got a very nice IMDb review last year which you can read here. But as luck and occasional porn production ineptitude would have it (and at the time I was extremely annoyed), the producers forgot to include my name in the credits…!

My reaction to this was, and I quote exactly:  $%!!#??#&**##%!!!

I wrote all my movies under my real name Neil Wexler, rather than Irv O. Neil. Many of the scripts had a lot of personal elements, even more in the case of BOOM BOOM VALDEZ which is why the missing credit so irked me. But to whom was I going to protest, the non-existent Porn Screenwriters Guild?

Notice how the disc box has a much more peppy photo of Keisha? She looks so serious on the VHS cover!

Notice how the disc box has a much more peppy photo of Keisha? She looks so serious on the VHS cover above!

Nonetheless, in sneaky fashion, always anticipating this kind of snafu, I’d left certain clues within the script itself as to its writerly parentage. For one, there is a character named “Victor Bloom”—Bloom being a name that has popped up in my work since 1975, either as characters or pseudonyms (I wrote as “Lester Bloom” for many years). Secondly, the characters of the writer played by Joey Silvera and the burlesque fan played by Richard Pacheco are very recognizably drawn on my own personality and interests. The writer, in fact, is a precursor to the character of Vic Vanner in my suspense novel FATE OF A STRIPPER, about a middle-aged writer/editor in love with a dancer.

You might say that in my imagination, Boom-Boom Valdez dances on the same club stage as Valerie Vickers of this novel.

Anyway, it was a kick when I heard, years later, that there was a European band called Boom Boom Valdez—so I look forward to hearing more about Futile Lechery!

 

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2016 in Burlesque, Erotica, history of erotica

 

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A lovely ancient Playboy magazine…

The magazine Playboy was a big influence on my wanting to become a writer. Just like in the cliché, “I read it for the articles,” after I got done looking at the pictures I did indeed read the articles. Mostly the fiction, but the interviews too. The many finely wrought short stories that Playboy published inspired me to learn the craft of fiction, and the interviews taught me how to talk to people to get their stories, a skill that came in handy when I interviewed about a thousand porn stars and strippers from the 1980s through the mid-2000s for mags like Black Tail and Leg Show.

I went to the flea market in Chelsea today on my unending search for inspiration in print, and I found a lovely Playboy from January 1956.

Look at the clever cover collage of the bunny-eared photog looking in his camera viewfinder!

Look at the clever cover collage of the bunny-eared photog looking in his camera viewfinder!

 

This slender (72 pages including covers) but jam-packed issue has, among its charms, a recap of the first two dozen Playmates (including Marguerite Empey aka Diane Webber, Jayne Mansfield, and Diane Hunter (whom I interviewed decades later for Pat Reshen’s Over 40 magazine); cartoons by the legendary and tragic Jack Cole, creator of the comic book character Plastic Man and a frequent Playboy contributor, as well as fiction by Robert Bloch, Erskine Caldwell, and Herbert Gold. Probably the one name that most resonates with contemporary readers is that of Bloch, who of course was one of the great masters of horror fiction and created the original novel on which Hitchcock’s Psycho was based. And Caldwell was one of the biggest selling writers of all time with the paperback editions of his rural tales of lust and human folly.

I never cease admiring these beautiful vintage paperback covers!

I never cease admiring these beautiful vintage paperback covers!

 

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