Monthly Archives: February 2013

The stories that please meet the legs that tease!

So tell me…are you drooling like I am?

What I mean is, how do you like this girl?

A sweet disorder in the tress/Kindles in a legman a wantonness (after R. Herrick)...

“A sweet disorder in the tress/Kindles in a legman a wantonness” (after R. Herrick)…

Nice, hmm? Her name is Katy Pearl, and she was photographed by Jana Krenova, proprietor of my newest freelance client,

But we’ll get back to Katy and Jana in a moment…

If I don’t write as much you think I should on this blog, or as much as you might like to see me write, the main reason is money. As a freelance scribe of porn/erotica/whatever-you-wanna-call-it in a tight economy and with a greatly diminished number of sex magazines to contribute to, I have to spend most of my energy and time writing to pay my bills–and blogging doesn’t pay me anything. But if everybody who visited my blog daily bought just one of my ebooks, I could and would write here lots more! I would also do more ebooks. 😉 So try one of my Kindle ebooks and you will get lots more interesting blog posts, pictures, and femdom erotica! 🙂

You can buy my ebooks in the United States and India; the United Kingdom; France; Germany; Italy; Spain; Japan; Canada; and Brazil.

I write primarily for porn sites now, doing copy for photos and newsletters about the sites. My main client is French photographer Denys DeFrancesco and his DDF Productions, one of the biggest European porn studios. Visit them at the DDF Network to get an idea of all their amazing sites.

I also write, under pen names, stories for the college girl sex magazines! You would be surprised, but I am very good at writing from the point-of-view of eighteen year old girls, as well as from the angle of the guys who fall under their erotic spells. I think there is a part of me that is still stuck in late adolescence. Maybe I also should have been a girl, I dunno. At any rate, they are fun assignments but I can’t tell you what they are without giving away the fact that they are not written by horny young coeds! (Fun assignment: go through magazines devoted to sexy young women and see if you can pick out what stories I wrote on the basis of my style. Every writer’s style is distinctive, like fingerprints, even when he or she hides it under disguises like slang or structure or bylines or details about bras and barrettes. But don’t ask me to confirm your guesses–I’m loyal to my clients and would not reveal that the juicy young things who write some of their stories are actually one bald but otherwise hairy Jewish lad from Chicago with an Irish nom de porn.)

But let’s get back to Best Leg Show. Its owner and photographer, Jana Krenova, is a skillful, artistic, and leggy lens lady originally from the Czech Republic who lives in New York and Prague, and who shot many pictorials and covers for me when I was the editor of Leg World…

Jana has many fans who are as awestruck over her very impressive pins...

Jana has many fans who are as awestruck over her very impressive pins… they are by her photography of the lovely Naomi on a picnic.

…as they are by her photography of the lovely Naomi on a picnic.

In fact, Jana photographed the girl on the picnic blanket for me for Leg World, and the project was inspired by my admiration for a pinup painting by Gil Elvgren:

I bet the ants were smiling at this picnic!

I bet the ants were smiling at this picnic!

Now, starting on Friday 3/1/13–tomorrow–I am presenting an exciting archive of my stories each month on Best Leg Show. We’re starting off with “STARE AND ACHE!” a tease-and-denial story about a tough handsome executive who wants to be treated by a beautiful and voluptuous lady named Deborah exactly like the adulterous naughty bad boy he really is. Deborah makes him ache with her stocking feet and her dirty words and she tells him his penis doesn’t measure up to that of the coffee cart guy back in the office…it’s a goodie for fans of nylons, the foot fetish, and even has a little cuckold fantasy in the mix!

So go to and check out Jana’s blog section, and you’ll see a picture of me and read more about our upcoming plan for stories there. Check out her great lineup of photos and videos of all the beauties she’s captured with her cameras. And join her site–it’s very reasonable–and have fun! Let us know how you like “STARE AND ACHE!” by leaving a comment on the site, too! Or leave a comment on Twitter for Jana @BestLegShow or for me @irvoneil.


I found the reproduction of the Elvgren pinup here. Photos of Katy Pearl and Naomi are © Jana Krenova and

One thing I want to add: I don’t particularly enjoy hawking my wares like this, I’m actually kind of a reserved guy–the older I get, the more I admire Gary Cooper, let’s put it that way–and I don’t like to toot my own horn. I’m from the school of thought that it’s for others to toot the horn about me. But this is the new reality of writing for a living today, in a cyber-environment that makes books as numerous as grains of sand at the beach. You gotta speak out to be heard–for example, I’m going to be interviewed twice in the next few weeks about my porn career. Basically, to be read, to reach readers, unless you’re a super-duper brand name with the machinery of a vast publishing and distribution outfit behind you, you gotta promote yourself. Without that machinery, us scribblers gotta stand on a soapbox and wave our stuff around, trying to catch the eye of the customers. We’re not just scribes anymore, but pitchmen and pitchwomen. It’s the new world of creativity that the Internet has created.


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Remembering a sensuous nude by Andrew Loomis…

One of the reasons I write this blog is simply to give readers an idea of what one porn writer’s work has been like. I also do it to get readers interested in my erotica ebooks, which are available on Amazon here. I have basically been a hard-working and knowledgable writer/editor, with forays into nude photography, porn screenwriting, and even modeling and acting.

Of the various influences I’ve had on my work in porn/erotica/whatever-you-wanna-call-it, a strong one has always been the culture of illustration and pinups. When I was growing up, my family had various art instruction books in the house, two of which are highly regarded today–Andrew Loomis’ Fun With A Pencil and Figure Drawing For All It’s Worth. You can find the latter on Amazon here, and the former will be re-released soon. After many years Loomis’ books have come back back into print; before that they were hard to find collector’s items. I was recently lucky to find a battered old copy of Fun With A Pencil at the flea market, a late printing from the 1960s, and I picked it up. It got me thinking about him again.

In the numerous offices and cubicles I’ve had over the years while editing magazines, I always put up examples of art that inspire me. For example, in the 1980s I had a few pinups by the late Dave Stevens, who created The Rocketeer and was important in the revival of interest in Bettie Page. You can see his amazing work here.

And this picture by Andrew Loomis has always been one of my favorites since I was a teenager, and hung on the wall of my cubicle in the 1990s when I was editing Sex Acts, Cheeks, and Girls Over 40 magazines out at the publisher in New Jersey, as well as writing stories, interviews, and columns for Leg Action, Swank, and D-Cup for the same company.

Fun with a pencil, indeed, although this is from Figure Drawing For All It's Worth.

Fun with a pencil, indeed, although this is from Figure Drawing For All It’s Worth.

Although the magazines I edited were as hardcore as any on the newsstands, I’ve always loved the softer and more sensual kinds of images as well, as exemplified by the Loomis nude above. The magazines I edited from 1981-2009 were therefore a mix of the pinup and porn aesthetic.

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Inside the male erotic mind with Dr. Brandy Engler!

Some men are promiscuous with women; I’m promiscuous with books. That doesn’t sound at all studly in comparison, but it is what it is at this point in my life.

I have more books than I’ll ever be able to finish, but that doesn’t mean I don’t keep buying them when I find bargains for the kinds of things I like, such as paperback noir fiction about femmes fatale or heists.

I think a fisheye lens captures some of the heady sensation of pleasure I get from these books!

I think a fisheye lens captures some of the heady sensation of pleasure I get from these books!

I just found a paperback copy of The Asphalt Jungle, which became the 1950 movie which really launched Marilyn Monroe’s career, and I’m looking forward to reading this tale of a doomed heist after having seen the film several times–as well as its remakes like The Badlanders and Cool Breeze. Here is a great poster for that movie, which I found here.

In the movie, she keeps calling her middle-aged sugardaddy "Uncle Lon," which annoys him quite a bit.

In the movie, she keeps calling her middle-aged sugardaddy “Uncle Lon,” which annoys him quite a bit.

In recent weeks I’ve been reading books of sexual case histories, which I find interesting for several reasons. Firstly, I like to read about erotic behavior because it’s entertaining, full of surprises and the truly stubborn human element. Secondly, reading about other people’s behavior and feelings helps me understand my own. Thirdly, as a writer of erotica I want to always add to my knowledge of what people are into and why they’re into it. Fourthly, knowing about the details of people’s sex lives helps me to properly construct erotic fiction, as there is a certain rhythm to people’s sexual sagas which I try to authentically capture when I dream up my short stories, or the screenplays for porn films which I wrote for twenty years.

Recently I read, as I alluded to in my last post, The Men on My Couch, by Dr. Brandy Engler with David Rensin.

I was in a fisheye lens mood, I guess...the book is  of normal shape in reality.

I was in a fisheye lens mood, I guess…the book is of normal shape in reality.

I’m re-reading it to savor its insights into why men act the way they do toward sex. Dr. Engler discusses a good number of case histories, such as a man obsessed with the fantasy of his fiancee cuckolding him. She traces the genesis of this fantasy to a trauma where the man’s earlier fiancee actually did cheat on him, and as an emotional defense he eroticized her behavior into a sexual scenario later in life. In another case history, (described as they all are through recreations of therapy sessions), Dr. Engler helps a man understand why he compulsively cheats on his beautiful girlfriend. In yet another, she helps a patient examine and come to terms with his desires to go to S&M clubs to dominate women, whereas in his daily life he is the one dominated by females on his job. Dr. Engler’s book depicts these men’s erotic lives while at the same time she shows how delving into their psyches helped her understand her own sexual and romantic feelings toward a boyfriend.

An interesting detail of the book is that Dr. Engler’s office was in Times Square and she also lived in the area. I lived in Times Square myself in the 1980s, and I live close by now, and her accurate descriptions of residing in the middle of the frenzied chaos of the neighborhood brought a smile of recognition to my face.

If there’s one thing that Dr. Engler uncovers in her sessions, it’s that underneath men’s sexual behavior is often the need to connect on an emotional level, despite the demeaning stereotype that men are only interested in “wham bam thank you ma’am” or, in the biological determinist view so popular now in our society, “spreading their seed” to as many women as possible. She returns dignity to the topic of male sexuality at a time when our male-bashing overly-politically-correct post-feminist culture seems to insist on men being nothing more than testosterone-driven mugs in comparison to women who are so wise and complex and far-reaching.

Women–especially younger ones more vulnerable to the prejudices of our simplistic media–ought to read this book; it’ll open their eyes as to what men really think about what is truly beautiful or sexy, and about how they want to be treated by their partners–and not just in the bedroom. And men can get a lot out of The Men on My Couch with its balanced, fair-minded, and warm-hearted delving into the patterns and pathways of men’s outwardly horny but inwardly complicated behavior.

Much of the insight Dr. Engler comes up with has long been the province of literature or earlier psychologists, but timeless truths can never be repeated too often. In today’s world, where men are supposed to be interested in football, sex, money, and little else, it’s particularly necessary for a female voice to describe the complexity of male sexual behavior to other women; but her book is aimed toward everybody as an introduction to the methods and usefulness of sex therapy (which doesn’t involve actual sex, but talking about and probing emotions). The Men on My Couch brings common sense psychological knowledge and a sense of compassion into a modern format for a modern audience. Her theme–that you must identify your core emotional needs to understand your behavior and what you really want–is important for everyone.

And now I’m onto my next book to read…

The fisheye strikes again! ;)

The fisheye strikes again! 😉

The outwardly placid surface of the pamphlet is deceptive…it’s exciting reading! Fiedler writes that one of the first American novels to feature a Jewish character was entitled The Quaker City, was written in 1845 by George Lippard, a friend of Edgar Allan Poe, and takes place in a Gothic whorehouse in Philadelphia. Sounds right up my alley!

Fielder says one of the earliest American novels featuring a Jewish character took place in a Gothic whorehouse in Philadelphia. Sounds like quite a ride!

The new book is quite a ride! 😉


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