Farewell to the Domme Dose…

30 Apr

For over two years, from November 2011 thru mid-January 2014, I wrote a weekly column for a site called Domme Dose. Although it focused primarily on the “financial domination” sub-genre of femdom, the webmaster WR let me write about whatever aspects of femdom I was interested in. I took both a personal and scholarly approach, relating my experiences with D/s, dominatrixes, and also how I found connections to femdom in pop culture.

WR had initially approached me to write for Domme Dose when he saw one of my blog posts here entitled “Teases and Temptations of the Twitterdommes.” It was fun to write what I called “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” for WR and discuss my eternally ambivalent attitude toward femdom. It was also helpful as well as fun because it gave me a chance to promote on a weekly basis my femdom ebooks.

A lively fun site.

A lively fun site.


Although I never met WR in person, we would correspond via email a couple of times a week, usually after I sent him my column on Monday nights. We would usually just chat about our enthusiasm for various dommes, and WR would tease me that I had so many favorites. I did like a good number of them, but I also promoted others in whom I had a more casual interest simply because I figured it would also help bring more readers and traffic to his site.

I enjoyed emailing with WR especially about the old days in Times Square, and the wild live performances they used to have in places like Show World Center.

I found WR a courteous and friendly guy, who was very accepting of his own interests in femdom. I admired that self-acceptance in WR, because I myself have always felt like a “rebel subbie,” my term for the ambivalence I’ve always had toward femdom. When it comes to my desires to submit to women even in roleplay, I’m never free of a certain self-disdain…never ceasing to chide myself that I should be “normal” and not “kinky.” (Although as I’ve gotten older–and thankfully known people like WR, and some of the dommes I’ve encountered at the Dose and on Twitter–I have become more self-accepting.)

So writing “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” helped me in a therapeutic way, too.

I also admired that WR could do his site seven days a week, handling all the pictures and copy and personalities of the various contributors. As somebody who worked for almost thirty years as an adult magazine editor, I could understand what challenges that entailed.

WR would promote me on his homepage as a “famous” writer until one dominatrix complained and questioned my actual level of fame…

I got a kick out of posing for silly selfies for the column.

I got a kick out of posing for silly selfies for the column.


Now, I had never asked WR to say I was famous–I don’t consider myself such–so I told him why not change “famous” writer to “acclaimed” writer. Since I’ve been nominated four times for AVN awards for my X-rated screenplays, I figured it was safe to say that at least four times in my life my work had indeed been “acclaimed.” 😉

So WR did that for awhile, until he started calling me the “distinguished” writer…and we seemed to settle on that.

The selfie usually reflected the tone of that week's column.

The selfie usually reflected the tone of that week’s column.


Then in mid-January, WR stopped posting on the Dose or Twitter. There was no word from him to anybody, no warning. For a guy as reliable as he was, this did not bode well to me and many others. People speculated on what could have happened, but nobody came up with an answer until a few weeks ago, when it was learned that WR had passed away the day after his postings ceased. (Although, as far as I know, details on what happened have still not emerged online. WR seems to have been a very private, discreet person in many ways.)

The Domme Dose itself came down just a couple of weeks ago, after remaining online for more than two months, reminding me of a shuttered saloon where the owners had left all the lights still on–because the Dose was like a corner bar in a way, where dommes and subs got together to discuss things at various levels of passion, reasonableness, discord, or humor.

I enjoyed reading my fellow columnists such as Moneyslave Matt and MzSydney; reading comments from gents like Frank, Hex’sFreakOnALeash, dickie virgin, Kyaa’sBard, and goodboy4kyaa; and keeping up with the thoughts and doings of so many dommes like Princess Rene, Miss Foxx, Capitalistic Blonde, Miss Annabel Grace, Goddess Jessica, Hex Kitten, Princess Karmaz, Mandy Flores, Princess Ellie Idol, Goddess Kyaa, Queen Kitty, Mistress T, Bella Daisy, Asian Goddess, Mistress Sarah Blake, Bratty Nikki, and many others.

Yes, I miss writing for and chatting on the Dose, and I miss WR’s emails and tweets. He was one of the best guys I’ve worked for. So long, amigo. R.I.P.


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8 responses to “Farewell to the Domme Dose…

  1. goodboy4kyaa

    May 6, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    It’s still hard to believe.Boom, just like that it’s over. It just seemed like i knew him personally, and then reality hits.It seemed like when i had to get a pick-me up pill could always go to Domme Dose and he would be there. i was free to speak there.It’s so weird.The only brighter side that maybe can be taken is that it’s not a bad way to go to the other side. Very quick, and hopefully with no pain. Sorry my friend, i know You miss him.

  2. irvoneil

    May 6, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    Yes, goodboy4kyaa, it was a good place to chat and speak out. An accomplishment WR could be proud of! There was always something entertaining, arousing or interesting to check out at the Dose.

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving a few words, man!

    • goodboy4kyaa

      May 6, 2014 at 6:40 pm

      It was fun! Especially to me, i think he knew, that i knew nothing about this fetish world.i think he got a little kick on watching me …learn. haha It was “womenrule” back then, no DommeDose. So i watched him too. Sometimes i would like to know what happened…just to know.It’s another way how i learn about life.

      Just so you know, my name is mike, Michael, bitch, or whatever you want to call me, anyone that knows me, knows i am “Kyaa’s” so i don’t fret about stuff like that anymore……life is short. #smile

      • irvoneil

        May 7, 2014 at 9:22 am

        Yes, Mike, I’d like to know what happened to WR too…but all I heard is that he did indeed pass away.

        I think you’re right, about how he enjoyed watching the fetish scene…I think his enthusiastic overall viewpoint permeated the Domme Dose and the way he put it together. That’s why he got so many eager voices participating and making it a lively forum that we now miss! But as you say, life is short…doesn’t pay to fret–although in my neurotic way I will continue to fret now and then! Tough habit to break…

  3. sublithium

    May 6, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    Ah, so that is what happened… I have been busy and not online as much and would check to see if anything new was posted or not but hadn’t checked in awhile. I just figured WRwould just emerge with a new site or something. It was a fun site and will be missed!

    • irvoneil

      May 7, 2014 at 9:24 am

      Definitely, Sublithium. And I think his passing kind of threw me off-course a bit…gotta get back on track on Twitter and online, checking out great sites like yours more again!

  4. dickievirgin

    June 16, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    WR and I went way back, when I started my site in 1997 he was one of the first people to email me. Some time shortly thereafter he asked if he could do Interviews for me, and proceeded to do so for many years. He was also involved in advertising sales for dickie and with all that interaction we did become friends for sure, often chatting about things from the sub perspective, personal things, and as I also shoot femdom content he was always interested in a lot of those details. I often said he should come visit me in Vancouver, offered to put him up in my fetish studio/suite, but that never did occur sadly. Like Irv when the updates stopped suddenly, in January, I knew something bad had occurred and while a relief to eventually find out that he had passed, it was certainly sad news, and has left a void in my life. RIP, my friend!

    • irvoneil

      June 16, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      Thanks for your comment, dickie. If you find out anything more about what happened to WR, please let me know! Lots of people miss ole WR. A good guy!


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