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Monthly Archives: November 2025

How do you put your arms around a delusion?

Or is Jerry Handervon just a cynic who can’t accept a nice gift without complaining?

Take a break from Black Friday crowds, find a quiet spot amid the tumult, order a cuppa joe or tea and download my new “slice of life” Kindle ebook to see what happens on a very special Thanksgiving week to a New York City man who doesn’t have much faith in anything, but knows that he really shouldn’t fester alone in his book-crammed apartment…

The Delusion He Could Hug is available now on Amazon worldwide.  

I found this cover photo after I wrote and edited the story. I couldn’t believe how perfect it was for the tale! (Cover ©nazariykarkhut/Depositphotos.com. Posed by professional model.) 

 

This ebook is part of my non-porn Specialty Library series. I hope you’ll check it out. 

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2025 in Amazon.com, ebooks, Kindle, New York City

 

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Seeker of strange obscure books

I did a great deal of reading and writing this summer; it was one of my most productive ever on both counts. Most of the reading was of obscure, forgotten novels that nonetheless were mostly excellent. One strange book was entitled A Fool There Was, a 1958 paperback I bought in an inexpensive batch of novels online. Me being me, I was attracted to the femme fatale cover. 😉

As I read the book, I realized the gal on the cover was far more glamorous than the femme fatale in the story.

The novel is about a guy, Cameron, who is obsessed with a girl, Lise, he met in college before he went off to World War 2. They never consummate the relationship physically, and that’s one reason why he is so obsessed. When he comes back from the war, they go in separate directions, he gets married and she goes off to Europe to become an artist; but his obsession remains. (Spoiler alert.) He eventually upends his entire life, personal and professional, to join her in Europe, and after abandoning his former existence, he learns that she is not the illusion, or romantic dream, that he had of her, and that she projected herself as. Instead she is a lonely alcoholic and he doesn’t understand what went wrong.

The paperback used a Rudyard Kipling poem as an epigraph, but after reading the story I felt it didn’t match the character of Lise. She might have been elusive but she never seemed like the hard-hearted vampire type of Kipling’s verse.

 

My guess is that the paperback publishers wanted to use a more lively title than had been on the 1957 hardcover, so they added this poem and changed the novel’s title.

It wasn’t a great novel but it was well written enough and memorable in its obsessive sense of desperation. At the same time, the paperback noted that the original title was It Is A Dream, so I began to wonder if “A Fool There Was” had not been part of the first publication. So I tracked down a 1957 hardcover copy and my intuition was correct: no Kipling epigraph. I also couldn’t find any information about the author, John Manson, anywhere online, until I got the hardcover and learned a little about him.

 

In its blunt, prosaic quality, the original title is oddly memorable.

I’m always curious to know a little about these now-obscure writers from decades past. John Manson had quite an impressive war record, too, like the protagonist of his novel; and it sounds from his author bio that he kept busy at writing in different formats. 

 

 

This was a melancholy book and I couldn’t find any others online by John Manson under this byline, but I’m glad I read this one; it gave a good sense of yet one more aspect of the kinds of personal anguish caused by World War 2…or other wars.

Fun factoid note: A Fool There Was, however, was the title of a 1909 Broadway play by Porter Emerson Browne,  which was indeed inspired by the Kipling poem; and the play was adapted into the 1915 silent film that put Theda Bara on the cinematic map as the first great femme fatale or “vamp.” 

Theda Bara and her victim in the film that put her on the silent movie map. 
Pic from Wikipedia: By Box Office Attractions Company / Fox Film Corp. – [1], Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37513365

 
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Posted by on November 25, 2025 in Erotica, Femmes Fatale, Pulp fiction art

 

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“The Cornell Woolrich mood”

Last week I tweeted that I’d been in a Cornell Woolrich “mood” one night as I went out around Times Square looking for a good, but inexpensive, hamburger. What I was referring to was two-fold:

In his collection Bluebeard’s Seventh Wife, published under his “William Irish” pseudonym, he has a haunting story called “The Hat” wherein a guy named Marty Dillon goes into a “one-armed joint” for dinner. Woolrich explains what the term means in the following excerpt:

The definition of “one-armed joint” is in the second paragraph.

So it was a cheap place to get a meal back in the 1930s. I was feeling frustrated in 2025 knowing that if I wanted to get a simple hamburger, fries and a soda at a decent enough place, I’d probably have to shell out about $25 these days. Just a lot more than I wanted to spend.

I did find a good place for an inexpensive non-fast food burger on Ninth Avenue, sans the fries but that was okay. I got the sandwich for under ten bucks and ate it while I walked. I like to do that sometimes; I do it in the mornings with egg sandwiches.

 

It’s a small independent restaurant, with a counter, called Lovely’s Old Fashioned on Ninth Avenue and 45th Street.

But the other aspect of the “Woolrich mood” was the gloom I felt. Just kind of down, which was why “The Hat” came to mind. The most memorable part of the story is that poor Marty Dillon, a Woolrich-style noir victim if there ever was one, has his dinner in the one-armed joint and then accidentally takes the wrong hat off the hook when he leaves. It looks like his hat but it isn’t, and it leads to the real owner of the hat–a criminal–tracking Marty down. The reason is that the hat contains counterfeit money in the hat band which the thug is distributing around town. Marty discovers this and it leads to his bad end.

Woolrich’s story reflected my pessimistic mood, basically, not that I was in Marty Dillon’s situation (thank the gods). 

After I had my hamburger I came home and read “The Hat” again. The rest of the story, which is pretty good but not as memorable as the opening, is about how a smart detective tracks down Marty’s killer through the evidence of Marty’s hat, which the thug returned with a residue of hair oil. It turns into a vital clue since Marty didn’t use that stuff on his head.

 

“The Hat” is one of six stories in this memorable 1952 paperback anthology.

Well, you live in New York CIty long enough, you can get into these depressive  “Woolrich” noir moods from time to time…

But the town is a place of many moods, obviously. Based on what a friend of mine tweeted (complete with a stunning photo), around the same time as I was walking down the street feeling fatalistic and eating my burger she was enjoying a glorious vista of the burg while enjoying a cocktail in a rooftop bar. And that’s New York: the high and the low thrumming along simultaneously day and night. 

 

 
 

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Noir for breakfast…or for insomnia

I’ve been working on a long story for an ebook about this fella named Klein, and I thought I’d introduce him here by discussing his very special preference in music…film noir soundtrack scores! 

Klein’s reading habits: a poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks will stop at nothing to improve her life in this extremely wild novel written under a pseudonym in the 1950s by later notorious Watergate figure E. Howard Hunt, who was also a prolific fictioneer…

THE ENDLESS SOUNDTRACKS thrummed in Klein’s mind, as usual, and he decided to give himself a break this morning and go outside for coffee and breakfast. Working at home alone was hard sometimes, in his apartment which was more like an office than a home; filled with boxes of his books, magazines, videos, and files. He’d never learned to live as a regular person, but instead was always just gathering more books and mags, videocassettes and then DVDs; working on his computer writing for porn publications and websites for many years. 

Porn was definitely one of Klein’s big interests but he was obsessed with film noir and novels as well, and ominous movie soundtracks of that era by such greats as Miklos Rosza and Bernard Herrmann. So obsessed was Klein, in fact, that he could hum their grim melodies by heart all day, while he was shaving or straightening up his apartment a little and trying to get rid of the excess newspapers which he still bought. Before tossing the papers he’d save clips of articles that caught his interest, such as obits about favorite actresses from the ‘50s and ‘60s, or reviews about contemporary books or movies he might check out someday when he took a break from all the vintage stuff he watched on YouTube or the nostalgia tv channels.

A big problem for Klein was his solitude. He liked being alone but it was hard too sometimes. Although he had friends to talk to, it could be tough now and then to sit alone with his fears and frustrations about politics, or about growing old (he was past seventy), or just about the damn constant noise outside his apartment windows on a busy street not far from Times Square. Just trying to process in his head the craziness of the world situation particularly made the solitude all the trickier to bear.

He did try to lighten his mood with music, and not just noirish melodies. Classical works by Prokofiev were a favorite. Or ragtime or big band music. Or military marches by Souza and others. Or the lovely waltz #2 by Shostakovich, in its sweet melancholy… 

Still, when alone, it was mostly the noir soundtracks that would start pulsing in his mind and he would feel he was in one of the noir movies and had better watch his step; things could get dangerous out there if he got involved with the wrong screwballs. He had indeed tangled with such types, years in the past…and so he stayed on the alert now, keeping his distance.

His perception was that while many other people enjoyed noir films and fiction, it was similar to how some folks savored chocolate: as a pleasurable taste sensation, in this case a cultural one. Instead of chocolates in the form of caramels or nougats or truffles, they enjoyed noir in its tropes of femmes fatale, tough guys, urban angst, and moody black and white cinematography. But for Klein noir was a real, breathing thing too, not a dessert. It was life in all its uncertainty and risks, and you didn’t have to be a Robert Mitchum character to fall into a trap. Klein really believed this, and it was one of the things that kept him wary, and kept him alone.

So here he was now, in a spacious midtown atrium where he could sit at a table and enjoy a coffee and a croissant for breakfast and read a vintage paperback (noir, of course) and where the light peppy European instrumental music from the nearby French restaurant there drowned out the improvised noir soundtracks in his head. Klein knew Rosza’s and Herrmann’s works so well he could hum his own variations, as if he were a human A.I. program into which had been fed all of their immortal melodies of deceit, deception, romanticism and sudden violence, which then emerged and transformed into his own versions.

As he sipped his coffee, people walked by and he read his book. For a while the grim music in his head was put on hold. But then a passing person or a sound or a shaft of shadow could get the soundtracks pulsing again in his mind, telling him to beware; to trust the noir music, the melancholy endless sounds, which alerted him to the pitfalls around him–always enticing, but always to be judged and avoided when necessary.

He would’ve found his paranoia pretty funny, even ridiculous, if he didn’t always feel so boxed in, so caged, so trapped too…

Klein finished his coffee and stood up to head back to his apartment. By the time he left the atrium, the soundtracks were loud again in his head, and on his lips. They told him authoritatively: beware the creatures of the city! It was much safer to nest at home. So until some gorgeous dame irresistibly beckoned and made him ignore all his fears (if he should be so lucky!) there he would stay.

But would it be his luck to meet such a dame, then, or his misfortune?

He hoped he wouldn’t lose any sleep over these worries tonight. But if he did, he had another noir novel ready to get him through the insomnia…

On top of Klein’s to-be-read list: another tale of a desperate girl escaping poverty and degradation, in an excellent novel by Fan Nichols, a prolific female paperback writer of the ’50s…

———————-

Story and photos © 2025 Irv O. Neil

This story is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and locations are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously. The resemblance of any character, living or dead, to actual persons is entirely coincidental.

 

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New femdom poem: The Hesitant Masochist

In the manner of Edgar Lee Masters’ fictional poetic epitaphs in Spoon River Anthology, here is one of my own, about a submissive who had trouble living out his dreams…

 

Someone he once knew left a pair of her heels at his stone…


I created the A.I. imagery at my stock photography account at depositphotos.com. 

 
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Posted by on November 5, 2025 in erotic poetry, Erotica, Femmes Fatale

 

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