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Celebrity beauty 1914 and 2014

Ensconced in my apartment not far from the Times Square madness of New Year’s Eve, ready to eat a salami-on-rye, drink my Milwaukee’s Best, and watch my Sinister Cinema DVD of The Invisible Man vs. The Human Fly, I offer this brief glimpse of how things have changed…

With the advent of 2014, we’ll be hearing a lot about 1914, when the First World War started, bringing with it the beginnings of the society we know today. With that in mind, let’s look at a picture of a female celebrity who was at the top of her game in 1914, the British actress Gladys Cooper…regarded as eminently “drool-worthy” in her day–and I fully understand why.

As the poet Wallace Stevens wrote, “Beauty is momentary in the mind, the fitful tracing of a portal; but in the flesh, it is immortal.” I agree.

One of the great beauties of her era.

One of the great beauties of her era.

And now let us consider a pic of a female celebrity of 2014, Coco

As the creator & former editor (1988-2005) of CHEEKS magazine, I approve.

As the creator & former editor (1988-2005) of CHEEKS magazine, I approve.

Hmm, has it only been a century since 1914? Seems to me Coco’s butt represents 50,000 years of evolution!

Happy 2014, my fellow fanciers of the Eternal Feminine in all its myriad forms!

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2013 in Times Square

 

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Sofia Vergara looms like a giantess over Times Square!

Maybe it’s the early warm spring weather here in NYC, but as much as I want to continue to write more “memories of the porn trade” for you, lately I keep wanting to stay in the present and progress into the future.

I guess at my age I may be something of an elder statesman of erotica, or maybe make that “elder sleazeball” if you wish; but as a freelancer in today’s economy I have to hustle and keep moving forward just like the young turks of the trade. And there are so many younger writers and creators fashioning the porn scene of today.

Ironically, what I have to work on today is an article about vintage men’s magazines, which will take me “back in time” to the early 1960s. I do historical research and then write about a vintage publication in the light of its era.

Nowadays, people are looking at the mags that I used to work on back in the 70s and 80s as “retro” and “vintage.” Ironically, what I consider vintage is the stuff from before my professional life, in the 50s and 60s. And going back as far as the 20s, 30s, and 40s as well–when I can find mags like that, which are scarce and usually dilapidated.

But before I get in my “time machine” for a few hours, let me share with you a few photo treats from 2012…

Walking around Times Square recently, I saw sexy billboards that only go to show that far from being “cleaned up,” the neighborhood still has much potential to stimulate the gonads.

Case in point, a giant Sofia Vergara hovering over Broadway:

Britney Spears, in demure 1950s clothing, once did a charming soda billboard that stood in almost the same spot.

The photo is very large, so it had to be sized smaller to fit in the blog. But if you click on it, you can see it in all its enveloping “you are there” quality.

Likewise, a few blocks down I saw this great leg shot of Glee starlet Lea Michele:

This amazing billboard (as of March 2012) stands on top of Midtown Comics at 40th and Seventh Avenue.

And last but not least, somewhere east of Times Square I found myself tempted by this poster of Jennifer Love Hewitt, one of the great busty babes on today’s entertainment scene:

Be sure to click on the photo to enjoy Jennifer's inviting allure!

My theory is that one reason they “cleaned up” New York was to give more room for sultry advertisements featuring celebrity hotties! Which certainly provides photo ops for me, since I’ve been taking pictures like these for years.

Too bad there aren’t REAL celebrity giantesses walking around the area. That would be even better. But these billboards are the next best thing, I suppose! 😉

Boy, I’d sure like to meet a beautiful Asian girl about twenty-five feet tall!! 🙂

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2012 in Erotica, Times Square

 

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Kate Upton gives everybody a va-va-voom Valentine’s Day!

I said it here months ago…Kate Upton is a goddess who walks among us! See “Take a moment to worship Kate Upton” here complete with my exclusive photo of a Times Square billboard of her Guess ads!

And to think that she’s an equestrian too, a horse-riding goddess! Halfway to being a female centaur! (Centauress? Centaurix?)

Don't mind me; it's hard to type on my laptop when I'm wearing a bib.

And she’s also pretty well-spoken, too, with a nice slightly throaty edge to her voice. I tried to embed an interview she did on morning tv, but I couldn’t quite get it right. But I’m sure you’ll hear her for yourself in the media sometime in the next few days…or hours…or minutes…

If the 1950s were the Age of the Bountiful Bust, the 2000s are the Era of the Gorgeous Tummy.

And now that I’ve let it all out (or at least the portion of my enthusiasm that is expressed verbally), let me get back to my regularly scheduled freelance work…

But I must add that if the federal government bought her cover bikini and auctioned it off on ebay, they could probably make enough to pay off half the national debt!!!  😉

 

———-FOR FURTHER READING! ADULTS ONLY:

To read a little more about why Kate Upton has struck such a chord in ye ole Uncle Irv’s psyche, check out “Femdom & Findom: Cutting Edge of Feminism?” It’s the new, Valentine’s Day installment of my column “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” at the female domination/financial domination website Domme Dose. For adults only 18 and over, or 21 and over depending on your location. You can find the column here.

 

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2012 in Erotica

 

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“Good girl” Jessica Simpson in “bad girl” spiked heels…

I like to take photographs on the street. Two of my favorite subjects are interesting buildings of all kinds, and billboards that feature images of pretty women.

Here’s what I came up with today, even though it was freezing out in NYC and my fingers were so cold as I held the camera and tried to get just the right shots.

Don’t the girls in the Ugg billboards have gorgeous gams?

I like how the bus with the "Find Out" sign popped into view. That added something to the pic, I think.

Back in the 1970s, the building’s floor underneath those billboards was a “taxi dance” hall where you paid $29 to get a roll of tickets to dance with a sleazy chick. Then when the time ran out for which you bought the tickets, the girl tried to get you to buy more tickets. I recounted an experience I had there in a porn novel I wrote in 1975 called Young Michael’s Seductress. I can’t remember the name of the dance hall now; it might have been the Satin Ballroom, or another name.

Anyway, enough reminiscence. Let’s get back to pictures. I went around the corner and saw this display of Jessica Simpson billboards:

...but those spiked heels don't seem too innocent to me!

I guess I’m of the generation that associates dangerously spiked heels with “bad girls.” So these pictures send a mixed message to me. She looks like a nice girl who wouldn’t mind seeing a guy getting down on the ground and kissing her feet in those shoes. And maybe she would stick her heels into him, too…

...as we little humans scurry about underneath their towering bodies, and especially legs.

And speaking of towering, here’s a bonus shot that I took some months ago right at 42nd Street and 7th Avenue. I think it was an billboard for Target, but it might as well have been for Foot Fetish Monthly…

Somebody should write a scholarly dissertation on the use of bare female feet in American advertising.

Come to think of it, I guess a girl can be “bad” with bare feet too. Or with Ugg brand shoes…

It’s all in the attitude. You gotta watch the attitude…

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2012 in Erotica

 

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Times Square porn writer enjoys the calm before New Year’s Eve frenzy…

At last 2011 is coming to a close. I’ve definitely had better years as a freelance writer of erotica. Many of the magazines I was writing for in 2010 at this time closed down in early 2011. I lost a tremendous amount of regular income.

Still, I persevered. I figured it out last night from my daily records–I wrote, revised, and polished approximately 362,600 words–or the equivalent of SIX 60,000 word books. Or if you consider a full-length book 80,000 words, I wrote the equivalent of four and a half books. No wonder I feel discombobulated sometimes! That’s a lot of porn under the bridge. And this was an off-year assignment-wise for the reason I just stated above. The year before, when there were more magazines to write for, I wrote somewhere between 750,000 and 1,000,000 words (my records were not as meticulous last year, so I’m not exactly sure–I was too busy cranking out horny stories, girl copy, website prose, research articles and product reviews). That’s the kind of production pulp writers used to achieve back in the 1930s and 1940s…on the low end of the pulp spectrum! I’ve heard of pulp writers who did 3,000,000 words in a year (although unlike myself, they could only do that by mostly not revising or polishing). Anyway, I was a writing demon in 2010; I did as much as I could, maybe because I sensed or feared many magazines wouldn’t last. That kind of work opportunity isn’t available anymore in magazines.

So now 2011, when the sex mag business really took a hit, is coming to a close. And I sense it’s going to end noisily. I live in midtown Manhattan on the edge of Times Square, and the throngs are already blowing their little horns on the streets and whooping it up, and it’s not even 8:00 yet. You have more than four hours left to go, folks!

Yesterday I took a walk through Times Square and on the fringes of the nabe with my camera in hand. It was sunny and not too cold, and I enjoyed mingling in the crowds. When I have something to do, like making pictures, Times Square is interesting. When I’m just walking through the hordes of people, it’s annoying and stressful.

Here are some of the sights I came upon. As you’ll note, I enjoy contrasting tiny people with big billboards:

42nd Street Near 8th Avenue

42nd and Broadway

Around 45th and Broadway

Looking south from 44-45th and Broadway

In 1888, Eugene O'Neil was born on the spot where I took this picture

The ziggurat-like Paramount Building at 44th and 7th Avenue, where Frank Sinatra wowed the bobbysoxers.

Looking east from between 45th and 46th on Broadway

Later, in the evening, I went out to dinner with my camera along, and walking through the area once known as “Hell’s Kitchen” I came upon this striking sign. Two versions:

51st Street between 8th and 9th Avenues

A touch of the old Times Square & Hell's Kitchen, but timeless in its blunt force

I can’t decide what I want to do tonight. I made no plans, and money is tight, but perhaps on New Year’s Eve I could allow myself the pleasure of a lapdance or two. I have coupons to get into the strip clubs for no admission (that little ole clever carnal consumer, me). But do I want to fight my way through the crowds? I was also tempted to call friends, but I felt like being alone and maybe watching a movie and having a beer in pleasant solitude, despite the racket of the New Year’s crowds on the street. And then maybe, an hour or two before midnight, trying to work my way over to a tittie bar.

I’ve been very frugal this year, and sometimes I think I take it too far. Maybe it’s not good for a pornographer’s mental health NOT to check in with the floozies at least once a month…

Well, whether I go out or not, at least I can travel to sleazy destinations in my memory, stuffed full of the sensations of lapdances, strippers, hookers, dominatrixes, and peep show girls from my past…or through a screen capture like this one of Broadway and 52nd Street almost forty-six years ago, courtesy of the 1966 James Garner movie Mister Buddwing, a suspense thriller about an amnesia victim wandering through the raunchy old New York so many of us miss.

52nd and Broadway on the edge of Times Square, 1966

But you know something? If I walk around on the streets, I can find the film-noirish visual energy still in Hell’s Kitchen without time-traveling through memory or movies…

Click on the pic to enjoy its full intensity! This is 52nd Street and 9th Avenue, looking east toward Worldwide Plaza.

Let’s hope for a better year in 2012 for all of us who need it and want it! And thank you all for reading my blog and checking out my bizarre ebooks.

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2011 in Erotica

 

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Happy Holidays but…where did the bookstores go?

An Irish tourist came up to me yesterday near Times Square and said she’d been hunting for a bookstore to buy some gifts. I told her this was the worst neighborhood for books in Manhattan now, but if she went over to 57th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues, she could shop at Rizzoli’s.

It’s true, though. With the Borders closing at Columbus Circle, the Times Square and Clinton (aka Hell’s Kitchen) neighborhoods are without a decent bookstore.

Within these covers, treasure waits...

Borders was not the greatest bookstore, but it was a pleasant place to browse.

I think it’s kind of pathetic that with all the stuff they sell in Times Square–a lot of it crap–there is no bookstore or even a decent newsstand to browse for magazines. A “crossroads of the world” without a venue for information about that world in tangible form (i.e., books and mags) is sorely lacking.

Oh well. I like going down to Union Square anyway, so the Barnes & Noble, Forbidden Planet, and Strand will get my trade. As if I need more books anyhow!

Maybe I'm nuts, but for some reason, this stack of tomes reminds me of the Venus De Milo.

Even though I contribute to the decline of print with my own ebooks, I am thinking of publishing my stories in a paperback format too. But we’ll see if the sales of my ebooks merit such an expenditure on my part. Ebooks are inexpensive to publish; the opposite is true for paperbound volumes.

Meanwhile, if you want to read one of my stories for free, just click on the link on the top of this page for the COMPLETE SHORT STORY: DEPARTMENT STORE DOMINA! And if you like it, you can click ahead to Amazon to get a few of my others on Kindle. Don’t just fill those virginal Kindles you’ll get for gifts with high-minded literature and potboilers; they need erotica too, and if you like femdom, perhaps you’ll enjoy my excursions into the world of dominant ladies and the men who love to serve them…

If I sound a little curmudgeonly today, it’s because I’m trying to get over a darn cold! Who wants to be sniffling and coughing on a holiday weekend! But I wish everybody a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and thank you for buying and reading my ebooks these last six months. I’ll be publishing many more in 2012. And if you ever feel inclined to leave comments about my stories either here or on Amazon, I would be most grateful.

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2011 in Erotica

 

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Pinups and giantesses put a smile on my face…

I’m a kind of moody guy, and the last few days I seem to have lost my way a little. Perhaps it was the porno burnout I mentioned in the last post…

Not that I haven’t been busy. Check out my latest “Notes of a Rebel Subbie” column on the female domination site Domme Dose. This week my topic is “The Dominating Power of a Sexy Voice,” but it’s also about memories of the horny old days in $10 whorehouse apartments near Times Square. Naturally, the column is for Adults Only. (Just have to say that.)

I have a noirish vision of life. Noir movies and fiction seem realistic to me; the world often seems dark. But I wish I had a lighter view of things, and sometimes wish I were an artist instead of a writer, because art communicates so much more rapidly than writing, which takes a greater commitment on the part of the spectator…a commitment given far less generously these days, with all the distractions of computer, tv, iPad, cellphone, Internet, etc etc ad nauseum.

Anyway, when I say “artist” I really mean pinup artist, because I love them, and the best of them, like Gil Elvgren, give aesthetic pleasure and joy in equal measure. I found this nice Elvgren at a blog called Gimme More Bananas.

Sure, it's sentimental. But who doesn't envy that pup in her arms?

I spent a little time tonight looking around the Web for pictures of “women with male puppets” (that’s a topic for another post) but instead I found a lot of stuff about giantesses. Not many lady & puppet pix. But I located a great picture of Jessica Alba in the “Fifty Foot Woman” mode here. I think she is the best of the modern pinup models. Oh, I know she’s an actress, but I mostly just like to look at her photos. She really poses well, and her smile is as luminescent as that of an Elvgren gal.

If a huge woman has to menace the freeways, we couldn't do better than Miss Jessica.

I found a lot of interesting stuff about giantesses, so I’ll have to do another post about them soon.

Funny, it just occurred to me: whenever I’m blue, I always seem to end up surfing the Web for giantesses. Maybe I just wanna be scooped up in Mommy’s arms and be told that everything will be all right…you know I’m kinda Freudian by now, don’tcha?

 
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Posted by on November 9, 2011 in Erotica

 

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