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Tag Archives: The Men on My Couch

Inside the male erotic mind with Dr. Brandy Engler!

Some men are promiscuous with women; I’m promiscuous with books. That doesn’t sound at all studly in comparison, but it is what it is at this point in my life.

I have more books than I’ll ever be able to finish, but that doesn’t mean I don’t keep buying them when I find bargains for the kinds of things I like, such as paperback noir fiction about femmes fatale or heists.

I think a fisheye lens captures some of the heady sensation of pleasure I get from these books!

I think a fisheye lens captures some of the heady sensation of pleasure I get from these books!

I just found a paperback copy of The Asphalt Jungle, which became the 1950 movie which really launched Marilyn Monroe’s career, and I’m looking forward to reading this tale of a doomed heist after having seen the film several times–as well as its remakes like The Badlanders and Cool Breeze. Here is a great poster for that movie, which I found here.

In the movie, she keeps calling her middle-aged sugardaddy "Uncle Lon," which annoys him quite a bit.

In the movie, she keeps calling her middle-aged sugardaddy “Uncle Lon,” which annoys him quite a bit.

In recent weeks I’ve been reading books of sexual case histories, which I find interesting for several reasons. Firstly, I like to read about erotic behavior because it’s entertaining, full of surprises and the truly stubborn human element. Secondly, reading about other people’s behavior and feelings helps me understand my own. Thirdly, as a writer of erotica I want to always add to my knowledge of what people are into and why they’re into it. Fourthly, knowing about the details of people’s sex lives helps me to properly construct erotic fiction, as there is a certain rhythm to people’s sexual sagas which I try to authentically capture when I dream up my short stories, or the screenplays for porn films which I wrote for twenty years.

Recently I read, as I alluded to in my last post, The Men on My Couch, by Dr. Brandy Engler with David Rensin.

I was in a fisheye lens mood, I guess...the book is  of normal shape in reality.

I was in a fisheye lens mood, I guess…the book is of normal shape in reality.

I’m re-reading it to savor its insights into why men act the way they do toward sex. Dr. Engler discusses a good number of case histories, such as a man obsessed with the fantasy of his fiancee cuckolding him. She traces the genesis of this fantasy to a trauma where the man’s earlier fiancee actually did cheat on him, and as an emotional defense he eroticized her behavior into a sexual scenario later in life. In another case history, (described as they all are through recreations of therapy sessions), Dr. Engler helps a man understand why he compulsively cheats on his beautiful girlfriend. In yet another, she helps a patient examine and come to terms with his desires to go to S&M clubs to dominate women, whereas in his daily life he is the one dominated by females on his job. Dr. Engler’s book depicts these men’s erotic lives while at the same time she shows how delving into their psyches helped her understand her own sexual and romantic feelings toward a boyfriend.

An interesting detail of the book is that Dr. Engler’s office was in Times Square and she also lived in the area. I lived in Times Square myself in the 1980s, and I live close by now, and her accurate descriptions of residing in the middle of the frenzied chaos of the neighborhood brought a smile of recognition to my face.

If there’s one thing that Dr. Engler uncovers in her sessions, it’s that underneath men’s sexual behavior is often the need to connect on an emotional level, despite the demeaning stereotype that men are only interested in “wham bam thank you ma’am” or, in the biological determinist view so popular now in our society, “spreading their seed” to as many women as possible. She returns dignity to the topic of male sexuality at a time when our male-bashing overly-politically-correct post-feminist culture seems to insist on men being nothing more than testosterone-driven mugs in comparison to women who are so wise and complex and far-reaching.

Women–especially younger ones more vulnerable to the prejudices of our simplistic media–ought to read this book; it’ll open their eyes as to what men really think about what is truly beautiful or sexy, and about how they want to be treated by their partners–and not just in the bedroom. And men can get a lot out of The Men on My Couch with its balanced, fair-minded, and warm-hearted delving into the patterns and pathways of men’s outwardly horny but inwardly complicated behavior.

Much of the insight Dr. Engler comes up with has long been the province of literature or earlier psychologists, but timeless truths can never be repeated too often. In today’s world, where men are supposed to be interested in football, sex, money, and little else, it’s particularly necessary for a female voice to describe the complexity of male sexual behavior to other women; but her book is aimed toward everybody as an introduction to the methods and usefulness of sex therapy (which doesn’t involve actual sex, but talking about and probing emotions). The Men on My Couch brings common sense psychological knowledge and a sense of compassion into a modern format for a modern audience. Her theme–that you must identify your core emotional needs to understand your behavior and what you really want–is important for everyone.

And now I’m onto my next book to read…

The fisheye strikes again! ;)

The fisheye strikes again! 😉

The outwardly placid surface of the pamphlet is deceptive…it’s exciting reading! Fiedler writes that one of the first American novels to feature a Jewish character was entitled The Quaker City, was written in 1845 by George Lippard, a friend of Edgar Allan Poe, and takes place in a Gothic whorehouse in Philadelphia. Sounds right up my alley!

Fielder says one of the earliest American novels featuring a Jewish character took place in a Gothic whorehouse in Philadelphia. Sounds like quite a ride!

The new book is quite a ride! 😉

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Capturing Fu Manchu’s evil daughter in my camera…

A friend called me today and we spoke of the “January doldrums,” that time of emotional and psychological letdown after the holidays. My friend expressed hope that the pleasant weather today–it was warmer than usual–would herald a new, more positive feeling in general. I very much agreed with him.

I’ve been feeling down myself, partly also because of the economy. Today I read in the paper that we’re supposedly out of the recession. Really? That’s news to me and my friends.

Meanwhile I’m reading for a second time a book I mentioned in my earlier post “Sexology on Sunday.” It’s called The Men on My Couch by Dr. Brandy Engler and David Rensin, and it’s quite a good examination of the psychology of men and how it affects their sex lives.

The book is loaded with insights about how men act out their emotions thru sex instead of confronting their feelings directly. I know it's been true for me.

The book is loaded with insights about how men act out their emotions thru sex instead of confronting their feelings directly. I know it’s been true for me.

When I read the book the first time, I didn’t make any notes, probably because I figured I’d go back and flip through it as I wrote my review. But now I’m going through the entire book all over again, seeing new and interesting angles and marking the book like a roadmap. In a future post I plan to point out several things in particular that I liked about it.

I’m also re-reading Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, from whose name the word “masochism” comes.

VenusInFurs-Paperback

The edition I have opens with correspondence between Masoch and a nineteen-year old female admirer and aspiring writer who wrote to him in 1874. She became a successful author both under her real name Emilie Mataja and the male pen names Emil Marriot and Hugo Valentin.

EmilieMataja

In his letters Herr von Sacher-Masoch goes from literary man to a horny guy who can’t get his fetish for cruel women in furs out of his head. I actually find it kind of funny, because he goes from sounding dignified to almost drooling for Emilie to treat him with cruelty while she wears fur. The effect is like a stuffy snooty upper-crust character in an old movie being revealed in his vices, like in a Three Stooges film.

I admit to my own absurd and probably comical-seeming leap-frogging from self-consciously literary “man of erotic letters” to pervy acolyte of haughty hotties. The other night I finally caught up with The Face of Fu Manchu, a 1965 movie I’d heard about for years, about the world-domination seeking Chinese genius from Sax Rohmer’s early 20th century pulp fiction. (In fact, the movie was produced and written by a man for whom my friend mentioned above, a screenwriter, once worked.) Unfortunately the movie was kind of dry and not too exciting, even with Christopher Lee in the title role; dry, that is, except for the scenes where Fu Manchu’s evil daughter Lin Tang, played by Tsai Chin, watches a minion get punished…

Lin Tang, daughter of Fu Manchu, hefts her whip in her hand and sizes up her victim...

Lin Tang, daughter of Fu Manchu, hefts her whip in her hand and sizes up her victim…

She then prepares to apply some punishment herself…

She really wants to whip this disobedient girl...

…before she’s stopped by her father, who has even more nefarious plans for the minion. In the end, she is very pleased by the terrible fate of the poor girl…SPOILER…who is sent to a watery doom by Fu Manchu.

Her eyes have a dreamy look of pleasure as she watches the girl struggle in fear...

Her eyes have a dreamy look of pleasure as she watches the girl struggle…

In the film’s most shocking image, Lin Tang and her father listen to a news report over the radio (the movie takes place in the 1920s) about the slaughter of an entire town by the use of a deadly biochemical agent sprayed by an airplane piloted by one of Fu’s henchmen. The film moves in this one image from corny mad scientist fiction into something far more sinister and apocalyptic about the cruel forces throughout history that seek to rule and subjugate.

Now, if you’ve read my Kindle ebooks, you know I am erotically enamored of the beauty of domineering Asian women, and I even loved just making the screen captures from the film when it played on Turner Classic Movies. There is something erotic in itself about sitting in front of the tv and making them…just as there is for me when I design the covers of my ebooks, even though I am no professional artist.

Femdom-LearningToBeCruel-OriginalStory

CoverForLearningCruelPart2

BlackFridayCover-FemdomFiction

But the domination I get off on is erotic roleplaying, not the true horror of evil–wherever it comes from in actuality, not through pulp fiction–evil imposing itself on the world.

They calmly listen to the news reports of the carnage they have unleashed.

They calmly listen to the news reports of the carnage they have unleashed.

Meanwhile, I’ve heard that there is a new South Korean film version of Venus in Furs. I hope to see it when it’s released; here’s a photo from the film that I found online.

What a beautiful domina...

What a beautiful domina…

And of course my British friend, the master femdom artist Sardax who made two illustrations for his site inspired by Learning to Be Cruel, recently completed a series of masterworks based on Venus in Furs.

This masterly Sardax image could get me into the fur fetish myself!

This incredible image could get me into the fur fetish myself!

You can see more at his personal site, The Femdom Art of Sardax.

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2013 in ebooks, Erotica, Femmes Fatale, Kindle

 

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Luscious vixen Gene Tierney at her teasing peak of perfection!

It has been a very stressful week and I found myself saying, “I must get away from the computer for a few hours.” I’d finished my work and I thought I would go see the movie Gangster Squad, which opened today in NYC and which I’ve been looking forward to; but when I walked down to 42nd Street it wasn’t playing where the papers said it was supposed to be. I ended up going to McDonalds instead and having what I call my “film noir” lunch–two hamburgers without ketchup, and a cup of coffee. As I ate, I made notes for a review I’m going to post here shortly about Dr. Brandy Engler’s book The Men On My Couch, which I mentioned in my last entry of 2012 (see “Sexology on Sunday” below). It’s a very interesting and rewarding book, but I didn’t take any notes while I read it; I just wanted to experience and absorb it without thinking about what I would write later. I usually (although not always) make notations in a volume as I read, but I decided instead I would instead go back and mark it up later as I thumbed through it again to write my review.

Meanwhile, I was just thinking about how mainstream art often carries a message of femdom fantasy below its “respectable” surfaces. I was musing on this while commenting at Femdomartists.com on a picture of the Biblical heroine Judith with the head of the Assyrian general Holofernes, whom she beheaded. You can see the picture and my comment here.

The other night I watched an early Gene Tierney movie, Belle Starr, where she played a highly romanticized and glamorized version of the infamous Old West outlaw. There was a scene where outlaw Randolph Scott “teaches” Belle to shoot. The imagery was pure female supremacy, as the beautiful Tierney (who in no way resembled the actual Belle Starr) gets to say things like, as she’s shooting at a leaf– “You want me to put a hole in it? Or do you want me to cut it off?” I wouldn’t be surprised if the femdom aficionados of 1941 returned to the theaters several times to see this sequence as fuel for masturbation fantasies. Here are a few screen caps:

Gene's utter nubile lusciousness is thinly disguised pornography...

Gene’s utter nubile lusciousness is thinly disguised pornography…

When Gene takes aim at a leaf, it's a thrilling erotic moment to rival Jennifer Lawrence drawing back on her bow and arrow in The Hunger Games...

When Gene takes aim at a leaf, it’s a thrilling erotic moment to rival Jennifer Lawrence drawing back on her bow and arrow in The Hunger Games…

"You want me to put a hole in it?"

“You want me to put a hole in it?”

"...or should I cut it off?"

“…or should I cut it off?”

 

Goodbye, leaf!

Goodbye, leaf!

To say that Gene Tierney is luscious in this movie is a shameless understatement. Using a Southern accent that was apparently way over-the-top, and entrancing Randolph Scott and Dana Andrews with all the wiles of the Civil War-era steel magnolia plantation belle stereotype, her performance can be understood in 2012 as a masterpiece of eroticism. Rarely seen, not on DVD, the movie was recently shown on TCM; but if you can get past its racial cliches about the post-Civil War era, you will find Miss Tierney at her most enticing, perhaps even more so than she was in Laura or Leave Her to Heaven.

I know I’m overusing the word “luscious”…but I can’t help it! 😉

 

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Sexology on Sunday…

Another year draws to a close. Not the best year, that’s for sure. A rough year in work and sometimes in emotions. But I have been gratified how people all over the world look at this blog on a daily basis. Today it’s been viewed everywhere from the United States to France, Brazil to Korea, from Austria to Canada to India to Sweden to Argentina…

So I sit down to post with a glass of Jameson at my side. My drink is Irish, my pen name is Irish, but my cock is Jewish. L’chaim! 

I got ahead in my weekly writing for DDF Productions so I could relax over this second holiday weekend in a row, but I ended up spending time on the computer anyway. I’m like a Siamese twin with my laptop, oh well. (Check out DDF’s blog here, it uses much of the XXX adult website copy I write for them and has links to my newsletters.) But I did get out to the flea market where I found a very interesting vintage paperback version of a sexology book first published in 1924, Sex and Life by W.F. Robie, M.D.

The book's typeface looks like that of the original 1924 edition.

The book’s typeface looks like that of the original 1924 edition.

The inside of this 1965 paperback looks like a facsimile of the original edition, with illustrations by Gustave Doré of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, from his illustrations for John Milton’s Paradise Lost

Strikes me that Dore is the perfect illustrator for sexology books wherein men and women wander in search of erotic knowledge.

Strikes me that Dore is the perfect illustrator for sexology books wherein men and women wander in search of erotic knowledge.

I started paging through it last night and found myself absorbed in a case history which was presented in the form of a “sexual autobiography” by one of the doctor’s correspondents. It details the story of a man born in 1888, and how by 1917 his sexual life was lived in erotic fantasy, with him occasionally masturbating about women he was infatuated with, but how he never found a female companion to love and have actual sex with. What made him unusual was how he claimed to only masturbate about women with whom he was frustrated in love and could not ever get involved with. He didn’t find pictures or burlesque shows or vaudeville stimulating–only the mental images of the women he wanted but couldn’t have. It wasn’t like they were “teasing” him and then “denying” him in the modern sense of that fetish–one girl in particular simply had no interest in being his sweetheart.

Of course he didn’t use the word “masturbation” so freely, but mixed it up post-Victorian style with terms like “auto-erotism” and “erotic reveries” and referred to his moods of “voluptuousness.”

I’m now reading a section of letters between the doctor and a female correspondent from around 1919, wherein she asks him first about a “friend” who had syphilis, and then later confesses that she was the victim of the disease, and that she was only too ashamed to admit it in her first letters. This section really brings to life the terror that people lived in vis a vis venereal disease back in those pre-penicillin days, and also reminds me of the helpless terror of AIDS that swept society in the late 1980s.

Ironically, when I opened the New York Post today, there was an article about a new book called The Men on My Couch by a contemporary psychologist, Dr. Brandy Engler, who deals a lot with the problem of guys in the Big Apple today. You can find the article here.

I wonder what it would be like to go to a pretty shrink...wait, I wrote a story about that called Mommy's Little Dunce!

I wonder what it would be like to go to a pretty shrink…wait, I wrote an ebook about that called Mommy’s Little Dunce! Although the shrink in my story was not a PhD. but a dominatrix/quack.

People’s lack of psychosexual insight and information always leads them into sticky waters (pun not intended, but let it stand). Today we understand that masturbation doesn’t cause blindness or hair on your palms, and of course syphilis can now be cured (with penicillin starting in 1947), but we have other sexual problems in our modern world which Dr. Engler’s patients deal with and which she writes about in her book. Check out the link to the article above, and you’ll see what I mean. So even though the dilemmas are different over the span of 125 years, from 1888 to almost 2013, the search for answers and the relief of erotic anxiety continues.

One reason I enjoy reading psychology and case histories is that it’s both illuminating and sometimes inspires me in the erotic fiction I write. Between Dr. Robie’s book and the Post article, an interesting theme has emerged in my mind from reading about the problems of men and women around World War One and the Age of the Fiscal Cliff, and I hope to explore it in some new stories. But I don’t want to say what this theme is until I actually see if I can work it into stories. I am a big fan of the theory that if you talk about your writing, it just remains talk. First write, then talk–that’s more my style.

Even one of the Dore illustrations from the Robie book, of Adam watching Eve sleep, could spur a tale…

These illustrations were probably very titillating back in their day, the mid-1800s.

These illustrations were probably very titillating back in their day, the mid-1800s.

Check out the Wikipedia page on Gustave Doré, there is some cool stuff there. Also check out Dark Classics, a cool art site where I found the Adam and Eve pictures.

And please check out my Amazon page here and enjoy the free samples of my femdom erotica, like the aforementioned Mommy’s Little Dunce (about a guilty fortyish porn writer who gets spanked for his literary sins), She Made a Cuckold on Black Friday (about a holiday shopping trip one man would never forget) or my latest, Learning to Be Cruel Part 2, which is subtitled “Punishment by the Book” and has my submissive hero teased and disciplined in a huge bookstore! If you like the free samples, please try the complete stories for only $2.99 each, which can be read on Kindles or even on your computers and mobile devices with the apps.

This is one of my best stories--very kinky yet very funny.

This is one of my best stories–very kinky yet very funny.

My fascination for Asian girls bubbles over in this one! I write from the groin as well as my brain.

My fascination for Asian girls bubbles over in this one! I write from the groin as well as my brain.

This is the epic sequel to my top-selling ebook Learning to be Cruel. Another exciting Chinese dominatrix rules the narrative!! :)

This is the epic sequel to my top-selling ebook Learning to be Cruel. An exciting Asian dominatrix returns to rule the narrative!!

So that’s what’s been on my mind these last couple of days. I hope 2013 will be better than 2012 in many ways! I hope you have a Happy New Year, and thanks for reading.

 

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