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Porn writers versus “real” writers!

An occupational hazard–at least with smut scribes of my Baby Boomer generation who didn’t grow up with the Internet-spawned notion that porn is just another part of mainstream culture–is a feeling of inferiority because the mainstream world does not recognize us as “real writers.”

I confess to having felt this myself over the years. Makes widdle Irv feel vewwy bad…

A porn writer sets himself (or herself) up for disappointment if he expects to get approval for his horny work.

This can lead to a “fuck you” attitude toward the mainstream world, and a desire to rub the noses of the “civilians” (or non-porn people) in the outrageousness of our work. This has always struck me as the modus operandi of people like Larry Flynt or Al Goldstein.

On the other hand, there are some porn folk, like myself, who internalize the feeling of inferiority and get depressed. But depression can lead to some interesting work as the feelings are dramatized in stories.

Which brings me to my newest ebook release, ¬†MOMMY’S LITTLE DUNCE, which will be available tomorrow in the Kindle store.

This nice lady makes a porn writer stand in the corner until he loses control of his bladder. Bad porn writer! Baaaadd!! ūüėČ

I wrote this story in 2000 for Leg Show, and have only slightly revised it, tweaking little things here and there. Otherwise, I present it in its original form, with a new cover illustration that faithfully captures the spirit of the lady in the tale. (The original terrific magazine illo was by the great Sardax, but I don’t own the rights to that. But check out his site here, because you should know his work if you don’t already! Adults only, of course.)

Readers of my blog, and folks on search engines, have been looking around for this story, which until now has only been available in vintage and hard-to-find copies of the original magazine. I’m happy to present it in the Kindle format, available in English in the Amazon stores of the U.S., UK, France, Germany, Italy and Spain!

Writing a good story always improves my mood!

And what, you may ask, is MOMMY’S LITTLE DUNCE about? It tells the¬†fictional tale of a porn writer named Dexter Bloom–I’ve been writing about various “Dexters” since the mid-70s when I lived in a residential hotel called the Dexter House on New York’s Upper West Side. Dexter feels very naughty and like a “dunce” because he has not achieved his goals of achieving “real writerhood” while busy scribbling dirty stories for adult magazines. He goes to see a special “esoteric therapist” named Rachel Foster who specializes in helping creative people overcome their guilt complexes. The story of how Ms. Foster gets Dexter to design his own dunce cap and stand in the corner of her office in his underpants will show you how important it is to express one’s feelings in order to overcome them…right?

Here is one wild story which is almost a companion piece in perversion to my top-selling LEARNING TO BE CRUEL! And of course, any resemblances to real people, places, persons or events are purely coincidental. 

You’ll be able to find it tomorrow (March 16, 2012) in the Kindle stores at Amazon.

Amazon U.S.:

http://www.amazon.com/Irv-O.-Neil/e/B005KA6DZQ/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Amazon UK:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Irv-O.-Neil/e/B005KA6DZQ/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Amazon Germany:

http://www.amazon.de/Irv-O.-Neil/e/B005KA6DZQ/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Amazon France:

http://www.amazon.fr/Irv-O.-Neil/e/B005KA6DZQ/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Amazon Italy:

http://www.amazon.it/s/ref=pd_rhf_dp_s_1?ie=UTF8&search-alias=digital-text&keywords=Irv%20O.%20Neil

Amazon Spain:

http://www.amazon.es/s/ref=sr_gnr_fkmr0?rh=i%3Adigital-text%2Ck%3AIrv+O.+Neil&keywords=Irv+O.+Neil&ie=UTF8&qid=1327901175

And getting back to the question of what is a “real writer”? Who cares!

I hope you enjoy MOMMY’S LITTLE DUNCE.

March 18, 2012 UPDATE: Here is a new direct link to the book on Amazon U.S. Click on the pic:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007KO66JS

And I say again, enjoy…

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2012 in Erotica

 

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Ninth Avenue’s Asian beauties take over my mind…

I had dinner on Ninth Avenue in midtown last night, sitting in an open-air restaurant, and oh boy did I enjoy the parade of beautiful Asian girls walking by.

I am thoroughly enamored of the allure of Asian women and have been for the last few years. When I ask my friends, “Where were these girls when I was younger?”–like in my twenties or thirties, they say–“in Asia, Uncle Irv. Or they weren’t born yet.”

It’s true. In the 70s and 80s when I was always trying to meet women and did a good bit of dating, I never met any Asians. I guess they were just being born, the ones I so fervently admire today…

It’s times like this that I wish I were good at sketching with a pencil, to capture some of the beauties I see on the boulevards…instead, I sketch with words.

Like, the Japanese cutie at the coffee shop on a Saturday morning, dressed in a white blouse buttoned to her throat, with black shorts and flat shoes. A chic, 1960s-style pageboy ‘do. Sipping her coffee and looking at a map of NYC. Demure, but very sexy in a quiet way.

The Chinese clerk in a department store with glossy black hair pulled into two ponytails, wearing a black dress with little pink flower prints. Olive complexion. Bright, challenging eyes even when she just rang up a sale.

Or the Pacific Island lovely in a fluttery baby doll top just coming down to the hems of her blue denim short-shorts, her brown hair piled high on her head, her long shapely legs delectable as she strode with girlish vigor down Ninth Avenue in her high heels.

I see them so clearly in memory. Perhaps they will be the inspirations for future stories. Ah, if only I had the sex life my characters enjoy! But I don’t think I’d have the emotional constitution for it.

I’ve had my share of adventures, mind you, but my fictional creations have far more enviable records of carnal accomplishment.

I don’t know where I found this picture on the Web, can’t remember, but oh this girl is a beauty…lookit those pins…

This image is supremely erotic to me. What's your take on it?

I went out to a strip club yesterday for the first time in quite a long while. Had to cut back in these tough times, as I’m sure you understand. But sometimes you just get the urge for some entertainment, and yesterday was such a time.

I was hoping there would be some Asian talent to catch my eye and compel me with their curves and delicious demeanors to open my wallet to tip and get a lapdance or two. I like to feel compelled to express my awe over a girl’s loveliness by giving her what I can, even if only a few dollars of heartfelt appreciation. Alas, I saw no Asian performers yesterday at this club. (I sure would love to go to a strip club exclusively featuring Asian dancers, but I know of none in New York City.) The waitress complained when I only tipped her $1 on an $11 beer, and the girls onstage were lethargic. Not an auspicious return to a milieu I used to spend quite a bit of time in. And not an Asian dancer in sight.

But the streets were full of delightful Asian ladies just like the doctor ordered (the erotic doctor in my mind, that is), and I was lucky to have a front row seat at the parade on Ninth Avenue as I ate my linguini primavera.

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Erotica

 

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