Sardax brings visual life to one of my beautifully cruel heroines!

30 Jun

It was a long week of writing. I just got back a couple of hours ago from dinner with a friend down in Union Square. What an unbelievably bustling place it is, especially at night. The lights from the stores, the sounds of traffic, the rush of walkers and cars, the constant interweaving through masses of people on the asphalt. As I walked my friend over to catch his bus afterward, my eyes were constantly enraptured by the many beautiful young women, especially Asians. It is strange and terrible to have them so visible to me, so palpable in their charms, and yet to be myself so invisible to them. But such is the fate of the ordinary looking middle-aged man.

This feeling of unworthiness and yearning before the eroticism of the vibrant young Asian female is one of the emotional currents running through my femdom story Learning to be Cruel, which I published just about one year ago in Kindle ebook format on Amazon, and which continues to steadily sell.

Although I am not an artist, I designed this cover myself and it captures the spirit of my dominant heroine. As I have said many times on this blog before, I have chosen to do the covers this way because I want the ebooks to evoke the homemade quality of the underground fetish booklets that used to be a staple in some of the adult bookstores around Times Square, and which have become prized collector’s items. Ideally, I should make printed copies of my stories for those who’d like to read them in traditional form, and I may do that at some point in the future.

Recently I started corresponding with the great British femdom artist Sardax, who illustrated a few of my short stories back in the Leg Show magazine days of editor Dian Hanson in the 1990s and early 2000s. I wrote a story for him entitled The Pit,  which was inspired by a picture he did, and which was published on his site The Femdom Art of Sardax. I sent him a copy of Learning to be Cruel just for his interest, and he liked it and decided to make an illustration of it for the site.

He recently joined Twitter at @sardax and has posted two stages of the illustration as he develops it, and which he has allowed me to share here.

I like how the picture is developing, how the tilt of the head in the second step emphasizes not only her dominance but also allows the light to better bring out her Asian features. Ah, a femme fatale is emerging!

Although this scene does not illustrate an actual occurrence in my story (although it does take place in a restaurant and there is much humiliation of the man with food and drink by the woman), I said to Sardax that this could have happened–and she could have poured her drink on her leg–if the restaurant in the story were bigger and the tables weren’t at such close quarters! In any case, it captures the feeling of the story.

It’s fun to see an artist take the story into another possible direction in his interpretation. I’ll post more of these steps in the illustration of Learning to be Cruel as Sardax posts them on Twitter.

And, if you’re curious to read the tale yourself, visit my Amazon page here. You’ll can also find information about my other Kindle ebooks here.



I feel like I’m in an old Warner Brothers newspaper movie here. Just as I finished this post, I saw that Sardax posted the final version of the illustration on Twitter. So let’s stop the digital presses and show it here:

The man now looks more like the character Lester in my story, younger and less bulky, and his expression accurately reflects the mix of desire and ambivalence in Lester’s feelings for the powerful, manipulative young woman named Meirong–which means “beautiful face” in Chinese.

As for Meirong in the illo, I’m ready to get down on my knees for her myself…in a restaurant, Union Square, or wherever she chooses! 🙂 Her shadowy full thighs in particular beckon my ardent worship…

Alas, I am afraid she would find me a very disrespectful slave. Perhaps she would have to slap me?

I also like that there is now a very subtle smile on the edge of her mouth in this final version, which reflects her delicious mockery of Lester in the story.

Anyway, before I go off into my reveries, let me remind you that you can view the full-size illustration and read an extract of my story inside the members’ area at The Femdom Art of Sardax!


Like any dedicated artist, Sardax often tweaks his work in an ever-evolving state of beauty, and has added a couple of more refinements to the illustration. It’s up now with my story excerpts at his site, so I hope you’ll check it out and enjoy the contrasts in various versions. Let us know how you like it by leaving your comments here or via his site.



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14 responses to “Sardax brings visual life to one of my beautifully cruel heroines!

  1. Ayesha

    July 14, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    Only a pro-domme would be willing to spill her milk like that 😐

    • irvoneil

      July 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      Perhaps you’re right, Ayesha. Maybe money would have to change hands for such a messy procedure. Or if not money, it would have to be done out of affection, I suppose. On the other hand, perhaps the woman would enjoy it for its own sake…

      As I said in my post, Sardax’s beautiful illustration is a visualization of the feeling of my story, not the actual events. In the tale the woman pours milk into a plate of her half-eaten food, and compels her admirer to drink it…she humiliates him for his foolish audacity in trying to get to know her, basically.

      By the way, you have quite an interesting blog yourself. Thanks for commenting!

  2. Ayesha

    July 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    Maybe b4 there were milkmen, milkwomen were distributing that white stuff, but none of the femdoms i’ve met ever considered an activity like that.

    Of cors there always will be women submissive enough to give in to male fantasies like that, and if ur stories sell and provide pleasure for the less brave among the ones who claim to desire to be owned by a woman, more power to u (and more money, hehe).

    • irvoneil

      July 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

      Seems to me that there are readers who don’t actually want to be “owned” by women but who have submissive fantasies and desires of varying intensity. I write what you might call “adventure stories” for those readers, because those are the readers I identify with. I hope the tales entertain my target audience, and are interesting to others as well if they come upon them. I try to make a little money in the process.

  3. stromung

    July 24, 2012 at 12:15 am

    I haven’t read your book yet, but will be picking it up soon. I consider myself a “recovering submissive” and for the most part have managed to feel alright about ignoring the femdom part of my brain. But since I have an Asian girlfriend and work with a lot of Asian women, I have noticed myself (reluctantly) re-entering the femdom fantasy world, especially of the Asian female dominant mind variety.

    I agree with you overall that there is a dimension to Asian women as dominants that can be mind-blowing if not overwhelming.

    • irvoneil

      July 24, 2012 at 11:02 am

      Thanks for your comment, stromung. I can identify with your reluctance and that’s part of what I write about sometimes–the desire to submit, but the ambivalence the subs feel. I think perhaps ambivalence may even fuel the arousal my submissive male characters feel…or that I myself feel, I should say, not to distance myself from my characters!

      It’s a complicated phenomenon. Maybe if you’re reluctant and, as you say, “a recovering submissive” you should think twice before reading femdom stories. All I know is, in recent years I have been completely entranced by the beauty of Asian women as dominants, and enjoyed some nice roleplaying with Asian dancers who indulged some of my daydreams.

      I think I envy you having an Asian girlfriend and working around a lot of Asian women!

  4. stromung

    July 26, 2012 at 1:14 am

    Thanks for responding Irv. I really like your blog and your writing. I think good writers are always interesting and compelling, no matter the subject matter.

    As for me, I call myself a recovering submissive because I have worked hard not to incorporate those ideas into my sex life. When I was younger I did have girlfriends who were willing to do those things, but the relationships fell apart. Experience in the real world is an even harsher teacher than a Dominatrix, and in the real world I have found that most women really do not like submissive men and most cannot even fathom why it is a turn on.

    Besides, I wanted a normal loving relationship with someone, with normal, passionate sex. I had that a few times, and now, with my Japanese girlfriend, it seems to be real and permanent. (By the way, we are strictly vanilla.)

    As you suggested, for years, I attempted to tune out femdom from my brain and I was pretty successful. For the most part, it even seems boring and kind of silly to me now. But every once in awhile, the urge hits you and you flick on the internet and check out some blogs. Recently I came across this Princess Mei Mei and My God (!) she is like my worst nightmare come to life. She is truly Satan’s spawn.

    I came across her writing by accident, I don’t think I was even looking for any porn at the time. But when I started reading what she is doing to the submissives in her life, it opened up vistas inside me that I had long forgotten existed.

    Is there something that defines “sub-space” when you are just reading the written experiences of a femdom? Well, whatever it’s called, that’s where I was as I poured through her blog and her postings on Domme Dose. She is an extremely powerful and dangerous writer and if we can believe that what she is doing is real, she is a very dangerous young woman.

    I think the ultimate attraction for me to Asian women (something you don’t realize unless you are around them a lot, like I have been for the past 2 years) is that they are extremely mentally disciplined. And they are skilled at using that mental discipline to bend other people to their will, albeit with a quiet emotional blackmail rather than traumatic shouting matches.They do this primarily to their children, as Amy Chua describes in her book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.” They do it in business and the professions, because you’ll notice, most of them are extraordinarily successful.

    And when they apply that mental discipline to Femdom, oh my heavens, the earth shakes for any man who is submissively wired.

    • irvoneil

      July 27, 2012 at 11:01 pm

      As I promised, stromung, I’m getting back to you again. I like your phrase, “Experience is an even harsher teacher than a Dominatrix,” and I agree–my perception too is that the interest in femdom is nowhere near as great in women as it is in men. I can’t prove this with statistics, only by my intuition and casual observation, so let’s put it this way–I don’t think a novel about a woman sexually dominating a man is going to become a number one worldwide bestseller like that phenomenon Fifty Shades of Grey has, that novel about a young woman submitting sexually to a man. (Actually, a trilogy of novels!)

      Princess Mei Mei’s writings are very intense, I agree. She describes a level of interaction far beyond anything I could imagine for myself. Yet she is very attractive to me in spite of, or maybe simultaneously because of, the demanding and unnerving scenarios she describes. But her style is too much for me.

      I think I too yearn for the “normal” “vanilla” life. It is a conflict I have often touched on in my stories: what I see as the dangerous allure of femdom versus the comfort of more vanilla interactions.

      I think you hit the nail on the head re going into sub-space from reading–when I read something like Princess Mei Mei’s blog, or things of similar intensity, it does put me in a kind of sub-space too. You’ve made me think that the Internet itself can become a kind of sub-space. And all the more inviting, at least to me, because it is free. You see, whenever I’ve gone into sub-space in the real world, it has always involved me paying someone money–a domme in a dungeon, or a stripper in a club. And the issue of money always takes me out of the sub-space somewhat because I don’t want to spend more dough than I can afford. Years ago, before the recession, before the magazine publishing industry took huge hits that affected my income as a writer/editor, I could more freely indulge myself in the company of strippers and dommes with whom I could explore my fantasies, do a little role-playing; but those days are mostly over, at least for the time being. So being on the Internet is the true sub-space for me; when I think about going to a strip club and finding a dancer, the spell is always broken somewhat because I start worrying about money, counting how many lapdances I just had…

      Although I don’t know or interact with Asian women as much as you obviously do, from my experiences with Asian strippers and one dominatrix, they can be very skilled in manipulating me. However, that is their job, because it keeps the money flowing, and it would probably be unfair of me, or stereotyping, to say that Asian erotic entertainers are more skilled at manipulation than other types of women. However, I can say that I do feel more susceptible to Asian entertainers lately than I am to other types (though I am attracted to other types too–what I seek in all women is a certain charisma, that’s the thing I most like).

      I guess at the moment I am more attracted to Asians because I like their looks more. (But I find that erotic attraction can shift, because in the past I’ve had preferences for black women, then Latinas, then Europeans, then Brazilians…and I still am attracted to them.) But getting back to the Asian dancers, I would be aware of their manipulations of me, usually, and it would turn me on, so I would not resist. I like it when women toy with me, maybe like a cat with a mouse…but only to a certain degree. I maintained a certain emotional distance from them–exerted a measure of control–by not being in real relationships with them, but having the commercial interactions of customer and stripper, or client and domme.

      As you say, besides being mentally disciplined, Asian women can be so beautifully physically–and yes, it is spellbinding to me too. And they really seem to have come into their own in recent years in a bigger way than ever. When you write, “And when they apply that mental discipline to Femdom, oh my heavens, the earth shakes for any man who is submissively wired”–those are in fact the delights I dream of, write about, but am almost too fearful to encounter. I know that from just how the Japanese and Chinese dancers I’ve known could toss me into sub-space with just the right words or gestures…

      And yep, those short-shorts are potent!!

      Thanks again for your provocative, thoughtful comments. I didn’t mean to write such a long reply, but you really got me thinking!

      • Ayesha

        July 28, 2012 at 1:31 am

        Time for the 2 of u to meet Natsuki.

      • irvoneil

        July 28, 2012 at 10:39 am

        Which Natsuki exactly, Ayesha? I did a search and so many came up, too many to choose from!

  5. stromung

    July 26, 2012 at 1:24 am

    Re: And Asian women are just hot. I never used to think so, but it seems like in the past 15 years or so, a “hotness” bomb was released on them. Or maybe the Chinese government has a secret diabolical plan that is brainwashing all of us. I don’t know, but I find it hard to take my eyes off of them, especially now when they are all wearing short shorts.

    I never thought I would catch yellow fever, but I got it real bad these days.

    • irvoneil

      July 27, 2012 at 8:51 am

      Wow, thanks for your interesting comments, stromung, and the kind words about my writing. I’m just finishing up a batch of writing today, so I will reply more at length to your comments in the next day or so! Have a good start to your weekend.

  6. Ayesha

    July 28, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Too many to choose from eh? Hmmmm, when it comes right down to it, there’s only 1 Natsuki tho 😉

    To make her acquaintance u can find her on my site. From there it should be easy for u and the Stroming chap to make contact with this incredible woman.

    • irvoneil

      July 29, 2012 at 12:06 am

      Thanks, Ayesha, I am checking out her clips. Quite a gal…


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